Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2004. I went on a field trip with Mattie's first preschool to Butler's Orchard in Maryland for a hayride and to visit the pumpkin patch. Mattie absolutely LOVED the hay ride, jumping in hay, and seeing a field full of pumpkins on the vine.
Quote of the day: Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I had the opportunity to have lunch today with a friend who is battling breast cancer. Naturally there has been a great deal for her to adjust to, not to mention the impact of her treatment on her entire family. However, while talking today, what caught my attention was what she feels cancer has taught her. It has taught her exactly what Goethe quote refers to..... to focus on what matters most in life. Now that she is going through treatment, she has more time to focus on herself and those in her life. When healthy, we really push ourselves to work that extra hour, accomplish as much as possible, and unfortunately with all this pressure something has to give. What usually gives or is compromised is connecting with family and friends, because we think, there will be time later for this when things lighten up in our lives. CANCER is the universal eliminator, the disease that clears the deck of everything expendable and unimportant.
I was able to relate to what my friend was saying because I lived through Mattie's battle and saw how present focused I became. Actually, part of me is this this way even today. I really refuse to do much long term planning anymore. I think once you lose a child to cancer, your future dies, and therefore I find that I have no interest to dwell over future plans, and do drag my feet when it comes to planning anything further than a week out. I assure you I wasn't like this before Mattie's cancer. This is just one of MANY psychosocial issues that childhood cancer left me with, and I wasn't even the patient.
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