Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2007 on Roosevelt Island. In fact, if you look at the picture we took and posted on yesterday's blog, you will notice that this is the same location we snapped a picture of Mattie in 2007. Notice the spires behind Mattie were of Georgetown University (where the Hospital is located). In many ways this picture is eerie to me, almost as if it was foreshadowing the connection we would be having with that campus and Hospital in 2008. Nonetheless, I love this picture, seeing Mattie happy and in red, and of course notice he never let go of the crinkle hedge apple, which he found on the Island, and carried it with him throughout our entire journey that day.
Quote of the day: Every action of our lives touches a chord that vibrates in eternity. ~ Edwin Hubbel Chapin
Peter and I went for another walk around Roosevelt Island today. It has been such a lovely Fall weather weekend, that being outside and walking in the sun seemed like the thing to do. We saw ducks and cardinals today on the Island and just enjoyed the sights and smells of fall. I acquired two more leaves on our walk to add to the collection I picked up yesterday. There were some leaves I couldn't identify, so I came home and did an Internet search of leaves, and I now know what a yellow poplar, a silver maple, and a sycamore leaf looks like.
When we returned home we both worked outside in our garden. We picked up leaves and pulled out plants that aren't making it because of the cold temperatures. However, I still left many of our plants intact, since I would prefer to see as much green for as long as possible, before everything disappears with the winter.
Later this afternoon, I did something I haven't done in ages. I sat on our couch. I typically do not like spending time in the living room, since this was really ground zero in our home. This is where Mattie did most of his playing, where we spent good and bad times together, and where Mattie's hospital bed was located after his second limb salvaging surgery. Being in the living room is just awkward for me. But today, Peter asked me to sit with him, and naturally that meant I was sitting between him and Patches. So all three of us were on the couch. We chatted and also looked through holiday store catalogs. One in particular was featuring t-shirts with absolutely hysterical sayings on them such as, "I only do what the voices in my wife's head tell her to tell me to do," or "it's my cat's world, I am just here to open cans." We got a chuckle out of reading these things together, and somehow I am trying to find some sort of peace by being home. But it doesn't come easily.
Tonight we are cooking dinner together and roasting a whole chicken. Thanksgiving may be next week, but in my kitchen we are starting early. I freely admit that I may not be in the Thanksgiving day spirit, or even able to come to terms with Mattie's loss and the fact that we are celebrating another holiday season without him, but some thing that has remained consistent is my love for Fall foods. Since Mattie's death my desire for being creative in art, cooking, and other things are important to me. Maybe because in the end the product is aesthetically pleasing, makes others happy, and in a way makes me feel better about myself. I have certainly seen enough ugliness thanks to cancer, that now I seek out beauty in the world around me.
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