Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2004. We went to Connecticut to visit Peter's maternal grandmother, Gladys, who was hospitalized. We wanted to introduce Gladys to Mattie, since she hadn't met him before, and she was very fond of all her grand and great grandchildren. Gladys was a spitfire in many ways, but that was okay with me. We understood each other and we both spoke our minds, which others do not always appreciate about us. We brought Gladys all sorts of things to eat that day, since like me, Gladys loved and enjoyed food. Despite the fact that there wasn't much to do in the hospital room, Mattie was very patient, played with the toys we brought him, and understood that visiting someone you love who was sick was important.  


Quote of the day: Grief is not a time bound process that ends in detachment. ~ Kenneth J. Doka


When Peter woke up he felt slightly better. He decided not to take any anti-vert today. Despite the need to rest, he worked the whole day at home. Later in the afternoon, we headed to Georgetown University Hospital to meet with an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. Fortunately we had Peter's MRI disk in hand, along with his blood test results. Being on Georgetown's campus is challenging for us. Almost every corner of the Hospital holds memories for us. I wasn't exactly sure where the doctor's office was, but once we got there, all I could think of was.... I have passed this office SO many times before with Mattie! It just never registered with me. The office is quite close to the HEM/ONC pediatric clinic.

As Peter was filling out a ton of paperwork, I asked the ladies at the front desk if Ava was there. Ava is the coordinator Dr. Shad connected me to, and who literally made today's appointment possible. I felt the need to meet Ava in person and to give her a hug. When Ava saw me, she expressed her concern, her prayers, and her hope for everything to be okay with Peter. She told me I could call her anytime.

Though we waited a while to see the doctor, it did not matter to me. From my perspective, he was doing us a MAJOR favor by seeing us at the last minute. Dr. Kim is a very straight forward and practical physician. He asked Peter very thorough questions, examined him, and listened to both of our concerns. After looking at the MRI and conducting an examination, he felt that Peter is suffering from a viral infection. We asked him how Peter could have contracted this, and his response absolutely fascinated me. First of which, he agreed with us that between Peter's stress level and vaccinations (which he had to take to go to Africa) helped to compromise his immunity. In addition, I can not adequately explain this like Dr. Kim, but in a nutshell, he said that when our immune systems are compromised, viruses can attack areas of sensitivity and those areas in which we have had previous problems. So in essence as he was talking, I was envisioning our body as having its own memory.

Dr. Kim talked with Peter about his trip to Africa tomorrow. He was actually very interested in Peter's work. The doctor felt that with Peter's improvements today and the fact that he is off anti-vert, that it would be safe for him to travel on Friday. Peter is traveling with several prescriptions, and Dr. Kim feels that within a week or two, all the symptoms will be gone. He says that they can last quite a long time, and wants Peter to follow up with him when he returns home. Dr. Kim works closely with Dr. Shad, and it was very evident without Aziza's help, today's connection would never have happened.

As we left Georgetown University Hospital, I could tell that Peter felt less nervous about his condition and actually about the whole visit. In a way, I think there is some level of comfort about being treated at Georgetown. Walking the halls of the hospital, is in a way like walking the halls of a very familiar place. A place where we spent many days and nights.

After our Hospital visit, we then ran chores. We had to pick up Peter's prescriptions, get things he needed for his trip, and to also stop by his office to pick up paperwork. I haven't been in Peter's office in a while. As I walked into the room, I was struck by all sorts of things that were Mattie's. Such has his artwork, a mouse pad with Mattie's Halloween picture on it, a Mattie painting, and even a flowerpot Mattie painted in preschool for Father's day! I am not sure why I wasn't expecting to see these things, but seeing them evoked all sorts of feelings in me. As if Mattie were somehow in that office with us. Mattie loved visiting Peter at work, and I remember the last time I took Mattie into Peter's office, he was drawing on Peter's dry erase board.

After a long and harrowing week, I finally feel that we have gotten down to the bottom of Peter's illness. As he heads to Africa tomorrow (of which I am nervous about), I head back to Capitol Hill on behalf of the Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation to visit three Senator offices. So stay tuned for that update. In the meantime, I thank all of you who have walked this scary week with us, I appreciate your kind thoughts and support.