Monday, June 13, 2011Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2008, about a week before Mattie was diagnosed with cancer. As you can see, he looked happy and clearly had energy. This was one of Mattie's favorite things to do on Roosevelt Island.... feed the ducks! I always came prepared with a bag of bread or crackers and no matter how big the bag was, in the end all the food was demolished.
Quote of the day: I can release the pain that touches my memories, but only if I remember them. I can release my grief, but only if I express it. Memories and grief must have a heart to hold them. ~ Alan Wolfelt
Today was a day filled with chores. In our living room we had three huge picture windows. They are wonderful in the sense that they bring in great light and help connect us to the outside, but they aren't so great when they are dirty. After a long winter, the windows were in need of attention. So today was that day. I spent the morning cleaning the inside and the outside of these floor to ceiling windows. However, it is special to have them clean because now we can see our terrace and flowers quite clearly.
Later in the day I went to Ann's house and tended to her garden. I thought the planting was done, but I have noticed there is more to do, so it is my hope to finish it this week. So far all the plants have taken, but the initial few weeks require a lot of time and attention to get these flowers acclimated and happy. I went to spend some time with Ann's mom, Mary today. Mary was telling me that she is worried about me and wishes that my life were happier. In the midst of talking with Mary, I could see Mary's roommate was in pain. Her roommate was in bed and is a feisty person. She likes to be independent and really doesn't want help for the most part. I asked her roommate several times whether I could help her. By my third ask, she decided to take me up on my offer. Mary's roommate doesn't like to be touched and deals with aspects of paranoia. So I knew I couldn't just walk up to her and help her, and grab her feet and move them away from the wall. I knew I had to take it in stages and first explain to her what I was observing and what I thought I could do to help her. Once I told her why she was in pain, and that I needed to move her feet away from the wall, she instantly understood and was compliant to work with me. Mary's roommate can be very combative with her caregivers, but I think today's example once again reminds us that if you treat a person with respect and empower them to help and make decisions, a positive outcome is usually possible. Certainly my way takes MORE time, than perhaps just grabbing her and helping her outright but in the end, Mary's roommate feels better about being a part of the process and this also helps build rapport and trust between people.
Peter and I were invited to a high school graduation party tonight. Tamra's daughter, Meredith, graduated from high school this weekend. Meredith had the chance to get to know Mattie when he was battling cancer. In fact, Mattie was very fond of Meredith and her sister, Louise, and they came to visit Mattie often both at home and in the hospital. That level of kindness will never be forgotten. Meredith is a special young lady, and despite having a house full of guests, she came over to sit with Peter and I and chatted for a while. In fact, she introduced me to her English teacher and told her teacher that I am one of the inspirational people in her life. What can I say? I was deeply touched by that remark. As I was leaving, Tamra told me I looked like Audrey Hepburn, a woman who I deeply admired. So I would say in one evening I received two very high compliments! 
On the way home, guess who was up in the sky looking at me?! No other than Mattie Moon!
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