Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Tuesday, February 21, 2012 -- Mattie died 128 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2002. Mattie was two months old and sitting in Peter's arms on our deck. We learned early on that Mattie preferred to be outside, in the fresh air, and not confined by blankets. As today marks the beginning of the 128th week without Mattie in our lives, I find that looking at these baby pictures helps to confirm that we missed nothing. Mattie looked like a happy, typical, and healthy baby.


Quote of the day: I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. ~ Thomas Edison


In a way I feel as if I relate to Edison's quote tonight. I saw a third oncologist today to consult on my situation. The reason I sought a third opinion, is I wanted this doctor to confirm one of the two opinions that have already been presented to me. However, in true medical fashion, that is NOT what happened at all. Instead, I had a third opinion which I hadn't expected come my way. Keep in mind that each of these three doctors are highly regarded in their field and are associated with major hospitals in my area.

Today's physician was referred to me by Kristen, Mattie's oncologist. This doctor is considered a skilled surgeon and has expertise in robotic surgical technology. I knew this going into the appointment, however, even if I wasn't aware of this, I could tell from his examination that he had skilled hands. He found the mass right away on touch and his examination was less painful than most. This doctor feels he can biopsy this mass and we scheduled this procedure to be done next week. However, what perplexes me is that my other two doctors felt this procedure could not be done given the location of the mass. So why the discrepancy? It isn't like I have two small community hospitals looking at these scans and doing internal exams on me. These are experienced people in their field working at research and teaching hospitals. So after my appointment today, I worked on connecting with my other two doctors and plan to get down to the bottom of this in the next couple of days. But in all reality this is modern medicine today as it relates to a complex issue..... the patient is left to get smart on the problem and make an intelligent decision based on the information presented. Seems to me I should get an honorary medical degree after all of this.

Tomorrow, in the midst of all of this on my mind, Peter and I are going to Georgetown Business School to meet up with the class we are working with this semester. The student groups are presenting their Foundation ideas and are looking to us for our feedback and input. In the state I am in, they are lucky I can even concentrate on what they are saying.