Thursday, March 8, 2012

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2002. Mattie was five months old and had teeth in his mouth which were quite painful. Peter snapped a priceless picture of Mattie looking up at him as he was inspecting his teeth!



Quote of the day: The great man is he who does not lose his child's heart. ~ Mencius


I spent the majority of today driving around with Peter from one doctor or hospital to another. In some ways, just the physical notion of having to see a doctor and visit a hospital can make you feel VERY sick! The atmosphere is a self fulling prophesy in a way.

This morning we drove to Chevy Chase, MD, where we met with a one of a kind doctor. Kristen, Mattie's oncologist and our friend, recommended I see Dr. Marlow. Dr. Marlow was recommended to me because he is a leading gynecological educator and surgeon in this country and is considered to be a pioneer of numerous technologies to advance women's health such as laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, colposcopy, and laser surgery. Besides being gifted as a physician, the other immediate thing that comes to a patient's attention is his warmth, attention to detail, compassion, and thoroughness. We spent two hours with Dr. Marlow today. First we talked for an hour! What about?! A novel concept.... he took a thorough history of me and my family. It was like working with Sherlock Holmes as he was digging through each symptom and procedure I have ever had in my entire life to try to make sense of my current picture. He warned me that he isn't a doctor who looks only at one body part, he needs to understand the whole picture! Where did he come from??? I told him today I wanted to adopt him and I wished every medical doctor was so thorough and worked hard at putting the many pieces of my puzzle together.

While waiting to see Dr. Marlow, I looked around his office and noticed there was art everywhere. But not just art, it was art he created! I noticed his attention to detail and the beauty in his drawings. His drawings immediately indicated to me that he is very talented with his hands! I loved his office staff as well, and they normalized my fears and shared pictures of their dogs with me. Visiting Dr. Marlow's office is not your typical doctor experience and I credit a great deal to the fact that he does not take health insurance. A patient has to pay out of pocket, and then submit paperwork for reimbursement from your health insurer. What this glaringly shows me is that when doctors aren't regulated by insurance companies, they have the freedom to be in a way better doctors. Doctors who can spend the time listening to patients and getting a more accurate picture of the problem. By the time I left today, I felt as if I was NOT alone in this problem. That he wanted to work with us in a supportive way to figure out a solution to my issue. Before jumping the gun with procedures, he feels it is important to get all my medical records in order. He wants as much data as possible.

So after my appointment we went to Virginia Hospital Center, where I requested all my surgical and treatment reports. Dr. Marlow feels that my c-section delivery of Mattie may have triggered a whole host of events for my body and bladder. As he reminded me today, we don't want to throw a howitzer (a big piece of artillery) at an unknown problem. Meaning, he is not for major invasive surgery on me without further evidence and data. Mind you he also confirmed that I made the right decision not to have the biopsy last week. A procedure by the way that he helped to create! So when the creator is telling me, it wouldn't have worked, then I know it wouldn't have worked!!!!

Later in the afternoon, I headed to Georgetown University Hospital. Keep in mind to prepare for my MRI, I couldn't eat or drink for the majority of the day. When we arrived at the MRI area, Linda (Mattie's childlife specialist) was awaiting us. I swear I need Linda as much as Mattie did. I have been through a lot with Linda, and frankly in many ways she is like our family. It meant a lot that she was there for both of us. As I headed back into the MRI area, I recognized my MRI tech. That is because Tony did many of Mattie's MRIs. We recognized each other immediately. When I went to change in the MRI area, right next to my clothes locker was a penny heads up. A sign from Mattie. I grabbed that penny and put it in my purse. The irony is this penny was right in the middle of the floor, and people passed it by and never bent down to pick it up. As if it was meant for me and no one else could touch it. While waiting in a hospital gown to go into the MRI room, I just felt Mattie's presence in the whole space. In fact, if you leave me too long unattended in the MRI area, I will start to cry. It is an emotionally laden area for me. To top it off, I was assigned the same MRI room as Mattie today. I recall that room SO well! Typically MRI days for Mattie were very stressful and his MRI's were usually two hours long!

After the MRI, Peter took me out to dinner and I ate for about three people. Peter was stunned at what he was watching! This evening, I got a call from Dr. Aziza Shad, the head of pediatric oncology at Georgetown. She and Kristen have been just incredible with me. Aziza shared some news about the MRI, and told me that the experts will be reading it tomorrow. These women are NOT my doctors (they were Mattie's), and I am not their responsibility. Yet this is what makes them exceptional physicians. Medicine is not about numbers to them, it is about personal connections and helping people. Such a rarity in today's world, that from my perspective when you find physicians like this, you have to CALL IT OUT! Okay, WRITE IT OUT, but you get my point!!!