Monday, February 25, 2013Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. Mattie was in the clinic that day, getting ready for another hospital admission. That particular day Mattie wanted a large baked pretzel, as you can see in the photo. Mattie got cravings for certain foods and snacks and literally we were lucky enough to have a whole team of people ready to fulfill these needs and requests. They understood that it was impossible for me to leave Mattie's side. It seems ironic that under the worst of circumstances we also experienced the best that life has to offer. We saw hundreds of people rise to the occasion, to put a child's needs before their own, and we personally witnessed all our communities come together to support Mattie and us. The impact of Mattie's cancer on our lives is ever present and remains within us.
Quote of the day: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye. ~ Antioine de Saint-Exupery
This evening, Peter and I caught up with each other about our day. Peter had the opportunity to go out to lunch today with a friend. These two fellows see each other periodically, and working around the corner from each other helps. I think it is very hard for men to develop the same emotional bonds and connections as women. It just is frowned upon in our society and not considered socially acceptable. That maybe true, but that doesn't mean men do not need support or have the desire to relate on a deeper level. As Peter was talking to me about today's lunch, I found that I was so moved by what I was hearing that I landed up crying. It is a true gift when I hear a friend say to Peter that he can pick up the phone and call whenever Peter is having a bad day. Each time these fellows get together, they talk business, but they can also talk about how things are going. Not just going on the surface, but how Peter and I are dealing with Mattie's death. These are not easy subject matters to bring up, which is why I admire this individual for never forgetting and having the courage to talk about Mattie, and for giving Peter the space to do so as well!
This afternoon, I went to the grocery store. I went with a list and had my own agenda. While shopping, I noticed a woman in a motorized wheelchair. I made note of her, but then continued shopping. While I was in the produce section, she came up to me and started talking to me about the weight and price of lettuce. Somehow the lettuce was just the entree into a much longer conversation. She and I spoke for a half an hour. She wanted to share how she spends her days, her skills on coupons, saving money at the grocery store, and also spoke about how she calls companies like Hershey's, Mars, Celestial Seasonings, and requests free sample items and coupons. Naturally this was a person who needed to talk and needed an outlet. I have to say, I learned something about coupons after this conversation! I certainly had a host of other things to do with my time, but since Mattie's death, I do slow down more to listen to those around me. Before we parted, she wanted me to know that she thought I was a very nice and kind person and how much she enjoyed our conversation. My gift may have been time, but her gift was equally as special. At the end of the day, I think we are all looking for someone to value us, to be heard, understood, and given feedback that our presence matters.
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