Thursday, July 4, 2013

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2003. I have been posting a series of photos this week from our first trip to the Outer Banks with Mattie. Mattie was very cautious about the Ocean and for the most part he did not care for the feeling of sand on his feet or the crashing sounds of the ocean waves. I tried to get Mattie to look at the camera in every photo I took, but Mattie had no plans for taking his eyes off the water for even a minute.  


Quote of the day: As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being. ~ C.G. Jung

To all our readers, we hope you had a good July 4th holiday. I do pause and realize for so many of us who have lost a child to cancer, such holiday times are difficult and challenging. It is a day about family and having a child in our life tends to make you want to celebrate, enjoy the fireworks, and the festivities that come with the day. When Mattie died, I would say for the most part the joy for festivities and happiness also disappeared from our lives. There is guilt associated with happiness, and as the feelings of guilt dissipate with time, you are just left with an empty feeling. Somehow the emptiness seems exacerbated with any holiday. So on this day, I reflect on the fact that we miss Mattie and the life that he added to our world.

Today was another incredibly hot day in Boston. The intense heat is not something I would say Bostonians are used to dealing with, unlike those of us from DC who are used to summers which are simply hot, sticky, and oppressive. We spent the day doing various things and seeking air conditioning in between adventures. One adventure we went on was we drove to Houghs Neck. Houghs Neck is a one-square-mile peninsula in Quincy, Massachusetts. The peninsula has been called the "flounder capital of the world" and once hosted six boat rental businesses geared toward catching the bottom dwelling winter flounder that spent the cold weather months in Boston Harbor.

Why did we choose to visit Houghs Neck? Mainly because Peter and his parents knew I wanted to see it. As my faithful readers know, I have a close friend by the name of Mary. Mary is 80+ years old and lives in an assisted living facility. I met Mary in 2008, when Mattie was battling cancer. Mary and I share a very important commonality, we both lost our sons to cancer. Mary came into my life during a very important time period and when Mattie died, I spent several weeks with Mary in her assisted living facility. We practically spent every day together and while I was grieving the loss of Mattie, she was grieving the loss of her husband, who died a month after Mattie. In all reality, Mary and I have spent five very intense years together, certainly not a lifetime, but nonetheless enough one on one time together that I know a great deal about her life, her family, and where she used to live. So where did Mary live prior to moving to Virginia? Houghs Neck! Over the course of five years, I have seen pictures of Houghs Neck, heard stories about the community, and also through Mary's cousin, I keep up to date on Houghs Neck happenings. Naturally I am sure other people could have heard Mary's stories and not become as invested. So I am not sure what that says about me, but when my friend talks, I listen.

I have spent ALL of my life living in or near a big city. I can't relate to life in a small peninsula such as Houghs Neck. Here is a place that celebrates community, they have family fun days, picnics, celebrations and the list goes on. For five years I have imagined in my head what Houghs Neck looks like, and I have heard about its fields, marshes, parks, schools, and the list goes on. Do you think it is possible to feel like you know a place, without ever having visited it before?! I do think it is possible and today confirms it. As we drove from one place to another in Houghs Neck, Peter and his parents couldn't get over how much I knew about the place and Mary. Mary is not part of my family, but it does speak to our connection and the role she has served in my life since Mattie's death.

As today is July 4th, I would say the whole Boston area was decorated for our Country's birthday. Flags and buntings were everywhere. When we went to Houghs Neck the patriotism lining the marsh also caught my attention.

From Houghs Neck, here is the incredible view you see of Boston. It almost looks like a postcard.

As we drove through the streets of Houghs Neck, I could immediately see why someone would fall in love with this seaside town. It is small and clearly has its own character and charm.

We drove out to Nut Island, which is part of Houghs Neck and I took a photo capturing the day with Peter's parents.

Before leaving Quincy we ate lunch by the water at a restaurant I have heard Mary and her family talk about for years, The Clam Box. Inside the restaurant, this sign caught our attention! Just like the sign points out..... the water was really to the RIGHT!

A photo of Peter and I, over heated, but still eating clam chowder. Peter and I tolerate heat very differently. Peter loves the cold and I love the heat, so I function beautifully in the summer and Peter thrives during the winter months. If you look closely you maybe able to see that Peter was turning a bright shade of red today from the heat! He was a good sport to be eating clam chowder with us!