Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2008. Mattie was learning to play soccer and had practices during the week and games on Saturdays. I am not sure soccer was really Mattie's thing but he wanted to go and enjoyed the camaraderie and being outside. While Mattie was practicing, I was ALWAYS there observing. Usually grading papers at the same time and sitting in a blue fold-able sports chair. A chair he insisted Peter buy for me when they went shopping together.
Quote of the day: Sometimes people don't want to look back because they are afraid of facing the truth. But sometimes, facing the truth we're afraid of is what makes us who we're really supposed to be. ~ Nancy J. Cavanaugh
Clearly I know Mattie died and I won't be using these things, but a part of me just couldn't get rid of these items. To some extent tangible items become imperative to keep memories alive. Also on some ridiculous level I thought Mattie may need these things and therefore it was important I hold onto them. I really believe my mind plays tricks on me because I rationally know Mattie died and isn't coming back, and yet on another level he is ever present.
So to me donating these items was an end of an era. Yet there are things of Mattie's still in my car, such as his rubber lizards and beautiful beaded flower he made me which hangs on my rear view mirror. These will always remain with my car.
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