Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008. This is quite the photo, no? Tricia (Mattie's favorite HEM/ONC nurse) was kneeling down and flushing Mattie's IV lines. However, she knew Mattie and his good friend Charlotte were watching Scooby Doo and did not want to interrupt their time together. In a way, I wish I knew exactly what Mattie and Charlotte were thinking at that moment in time. Charlotte continued to visit Mattie throughout his journey and each time she came Mattie looked sicker. Adults think this doesn't have an affect on a child, but I have to wonder. Meanwhile, I knew from my interactions with Mattie how hard it was for him to see his friends. Because after a visit, his friends left and went back to their normal lives. A life he no longer had, which in some cases left Mattie in a terrible mood for the rest of the day. These were just some of the things Peter and I managed without me reporting them on the blog. It was a fine line I walked everyday. I knew Mattie wanted his space and isolation, but I also knew we couldn't shut people out because my hope was that some day Mattie would go into remission and return to school.
Quote of the day: The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. ~ George Bernard Shaw
I received in our Mattie Miracle mail box today the magazine, Oncology Nurse Advisor. I am not sure why we are getting this subscription, but I always find an article or two worth reading in it. One of the articles that caught my attention was entitled, Beware Abbreviated Explanations. The article was written by a nurse, after she observed her grandchild receiving care in an emergency room. She explained that the nurse caring for her grandson was having trouble starting an IV. The nurse did not get it after the first attempt, so had to stick the child again. Before doing that, she told him "It's going to be okay." At which point the child responded.... "it's NOT okay!" A response that most adults would like to give or perhaps shout out at their medical providers.
The article acknowledged that children are more likely to tell medical providers as it is, but also the premise of the article was that doctors and nurses have to be cognizant of the words they choose to use with patients. What does.... It's going to be okay accomplish? Who is it said for.... the health care provider or the patient??? In translation the nurse was really trying to say..... I will get your IV in on the second try and these antibiotics will help you feel better and bring your fever down. However, instead of this lengthened explanation, she said... It's going to be okay.
I do think adults in health care sometimes think kids aren't aware of what's going on around them and keeping communication simple and abbreviated is best. I have learned first hand that this doesn't work. Not only doesn't it work, it can back fire on a clinician. For example, if you told Mattie it's going to be okay...... and the end result was fever, pain, or nausea, then he remembered this and learned NOT to trust his care provider. I would have to say that Mattie's oncology nurses rarely if ever used this abbreviated form of communication. The culprits were typically the doctors.
The article does make you stop and pause. The author discussed how easy it is to have a miscommunication not only verbally but electronically. She gave the example of sending a text to her brother about a place and time to meet. She thought what she typed was clear, but her brother interpreted what she wrote in a completely different manner. Such miscommunications are tough enough between family members and friends, but in a medical settings such issues can be a matter of life and death. Which is why checking back in and confirming that both parties are on the same page is vital.
Beware Abbreviated Explanations That May Undermine Your Meaning, Patients' Understanding
https://www.oncologynurseadvisor.com/general-oncology/abbreviated-explanations-may-undermine-communications/article/778704/
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