Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008. I will never forget this moment in time. This specific photo was taken in the halls of Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital. We took Mattie to NYC (naturally with symbolic Big Apple behind Mattie) to be evaluated by an oncologist and surgeon. As well as to see if Mattie qualified for an experimental treatment run through the Hospital. Everything about this Hospital left me with bad memories. From inconsiderate doctors, a facility that isn't user friendly, to nurses having to perform patient care in the middle of hallways because there were no rooms, or private areas to receive care. Even the child life playroom was noxious. Instead of an inviting space to play, it looked more like a big warehouse, with the noise level of Grand Central train station. Needless to say, we were all tense, anxious, and highly stressed out. It was at this Hospital, Peter and I learned that NO CHILD HAD EVER SURVIVED with Mattie's form of cancer. So instead of treatment, they recommended opting for end of life care. A visit NEVER to be forgotten. At the end of the day, they may have been correct about Mattie's prognosis, but it was how this information was delivered to us that was inhumane and with a complete lack of compassion.
Quote of the day: Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both is dental. ~ Ogden Nash
I never had the fear of going to the dentist. To me there may have been some uncomfortable visits in the past, but for the most part it was fine. This began to change this spring, when my dentist wanted to do preventative maintenance and remove one of my old filings and replace it with a porcelain partial crown. He explained why, showed me the issues with my old filing and I decided to take his advice and do the procedure in hopes of preventing issues down the line with my tooth.
Well that was the beginning of the end! The whole left side of my mouth hasn't been the same since. So much so that I can't chew on that side nor consume hot or cold beverages. I truly assumed something was wrong with my nerves. Any case, a few weeks after the partial crown placement, I went in to have an adjustment. That did not help in the least. So today, I went back to the dentist and discussed the problem with him. He took xrays and everything appears to be normal. Of course how that can be is besides me, because I don't feel normal. Instead, I am dealing with throbbing pain and great sensitivity.
So he did a lot of rule outs today, and finally felt that I could be having a reaction to the bonding agent holding the porcelain. He says a small percentage of people have post-placement pain, and therefore wanted to take out the partial crown and put in a temporary one. As the temporary isn't porcelain and doesn't require the same bonding agent. Needless to say I am home after a 2.5 hour procedure and in pain. Making me wonder why I ever agreed to a partial crown in the first place. He says I will feel pain for 1-3 weeks and will then assess it in three weeks. That is if I make it that long.
While at the office, his assistants were talking to me. They wanted to know if I was a 'Halloweeny' person! Well that is hard to answer without some context. I then told them about Mattie Miracle and how we host a post-Halloween candy drive every November. They thought that was a good idea and then asked why I got involved in this cause. So I explained to them about Mattie, my experiences, and the work we do at Mattie Miracle. They wanted my business card and were going to talk to some of their community groups they are a part of, to see if they are interested in participating in the candy drive. Funny how even a conversation about Halloween can trigger a Mattie Miracle dialogue.
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