Sunday, June 12, 2022

Sunday, June 12, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2009. Mattie was in the hospital, recovering from a sternotomy (to remove the 9 tumors in his lungs). Despite the fact that Mattie was part of the PICU nursing service (as he was a post-surgery patient), his oncology nurses came over and also cared for Mattie. This photo was spur of the moment. I did not ask his nurses to kiss him or pose. But this was how special each of these women were. Pictured with Mattie were Sarah Marshall (On the left, and a childhood cancer survivor herself. She was the nurse on duty the night/day Mattie died) and Ellen (one of Mattie's fabulous night nurses). 

Quote of the day: What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Over breakfast today, my mom handed me an article from her AARP magazine. It was entitled, It’s Time to Throw Out Stereotypes on Aging. I included the link to the article, if you wanted to read it for yourself. Some of it leaves you wondering why they had to do a survey about this topic, but nonetheless, there are a few results that caused me to stop and pause. The one that caught my attention has to do with quality of life. No surprise, as this is an issue that is near and dear to me regarding any age. Just to put the results into context, more than 2,500 people participated, representing the full range of America’s backgrounds, demographics and ethnicities. Another 25 adults 40 years old and older participated in in-depth interviews. 

Here was one of the questions asked of participants.......Assume for a moment that there was a pill that could extend your life by 10 years. How likely would you be to take that pill?

Do you have an answer for yourself? I know I did immediately! My answer was I can't answer this question without having MORE information. Specifically I wanted to know whether this pill was also going to ensure my good health. Because having more years, without having good health, to me is pointless. Ironically, guess who also shared my philosophy????.... those 80 years and older!

The results found that around three-quarters of adults across all age ranges said they likely would take such a pill, but one interesting finding was that those 80 and older were the least interested. When the question was posed without an age guarantee, but instead cited the promise of slower aging with extended health, the likelihood shot up to around 85 percent. Makes perfect sense to me! This older adult age group gets it, they know that more years doesn't always equate with quality of life. Unfortunately for myself, I learned this lesson early on in life. 

Here is another question asked of participants that intrigued me.... How would you rate the overall quality of your life, on a scale of 1 to 10?

The results indicated that 2 out of 3 of the oldest adults, age 80 and older, say they’re living their “best possible life” or close to it, compared with just 1 in 5 younger adults. The article highlighted that psychologically, people notice and prioritize the positive and let the negative go as they age.

With regard to quality of life, the article stated:

“It’s the ticking clock theory: We all have to die; as you get closer, you think, Hey, what really matters? When you’re young, you may think, I’m going to suffer now because it’ll be worth it later. But later, you realize none of that made me as happy as being with my family or taking long walks every day,” she adds. 

As 70-year-old Richard, who is a retired financial planner, puts it: “I did what I did to make a living, and I enjoyed it. But once I walked away, I honestly didn’t miss it for 10 minutes. That’s not my identity. That’s not who I am. My wife and I are heavily involved in our church. We’ve done mission trips to Cambodia, to Rwanda, to Australia, to China — to help dig wells and build homes and those kinds of things. I consider that to be who we are.”

When I read the above two paragraphs, what came to my mind was THIS IS ME! I may not be 70 or 80, but I think like someone much older than myself. Mattie getting cancer and dying, caused me to have insights and different priorities from most people in my age group. I have learned that LATER isn't guaranteed, that a job, wealth, expensive trips and so forth isn't what life is all about. In fact, these things don't truly make us happy (long-term) at the end of the day. Life is about meaningful connections, helping others, and trying to absorb the beauty of nature all around us. Or at least that is what is important to me and gets me through the day.