Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2009. Mattie was home between treatments and needing a sternotomy to remove tumors in his lungs. It was quite amazing that given all he was dealing with that he could smile, play, and even function. The average adult would be having a pity party in the corner, and it would be very understandable. But Mattie's courage, stamina, and love of life always came shining through even in the toughest hours.
As you can see, our living and dining rooms were filled with car and train tracks. Our home was filled to capacity with all sort of things to keep Mattie busy. I will never forget those days, as Peter and I worked around the clock to be everything to Mattie.... doctor, nurse, therapist, teacher, parent, friend, and play companion.
Quote of the day: No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another. ~ Charles Dickens
What a beautiful quote by Charles Dickens! I never read it before, but I came upon it tonight and decided to include it on the blog. It is a reminder of the true importance in life. It is easy to forget this because we live in a world that evaluates us by certain measures, none of which involve providing care for another human being.
I had a conference call today. All with working professionals. Naturally I got to hear what they are up to as well as hear about their summer plans. Once again in my life, I am faced with NOT being able to relate to others. When Mattie was ill and in treatment, I rarely interacted with the world. My world was the hospital and desperately finding a cure for Mattie's cancer. If it wasn't one of those two things, then it did not matter to me, and much of my life therefore fell by the wayside.
Caring for my parents now, has many similarities. I very rarely do anything on my own. I can't plan a day, an outing, a lunch, etc, because my world is absorbed by my daily routine. It is hard not to feel depressed by this, to feel isolated, and frustrated. Some days I wonder how I did not crack up!
On top of everything else I have going on, Sunny is having a bad reaction to oral chemotherapy. He is listless, refuses to eat, and spends a good part of the day, hiding and sleeping. In essence this is NOT Sunny. The vet keeps implying that we just have to find the right pre-med drugs to give Sunny, so that he isn't wiped out by the chemo! Maybe, but the way I view it, is I can't handle ONE MORE THING. Since Sunny refuses eating, it is hard to get pills down him. But tonight I cooked turkey sausages and stuck pills inside the sausages. He ate it! Being creative and changing things up is important with a herding dog. They are smart and he is VERY suspicious of what we are feeding him now. For good reason, because whatever we are giving him from the vet is typically making him feel ill.
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