Mattie's Blog and his Fight Against Osteosarcoma

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.

As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki

September 5, 2022

Monday, September 5, 2022

Monday, September 5, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008. Mattie was in the outpatient clinic of the hospital and was creating at the art therapy table. This corner of the clinic was our go-to area. Mattie naturally gravitated to it and his therapists gave Mattie access to all the tools and media he needed to build, design, and be productive. It was interesting the dialogues we had at this table. These weren't prepped or staged conversations, but while busy and doing, Mattie more naturally started talking, sharing thoughts and feelings. Mattie made friends at this table, talked about some of his fears and concerns, and even times when he did not want to interact, he still wanted to create. This creative area was a God sent.

Quote of the day: Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world. ~ Eckhart Tolle

I do not live a normal life, and I do not fool myself into thinking anything else. It is a reminder whenever I attempt to do something typical (like have a friend over), that I realize it takes me ten times longer to get it together.

My dad was scheduled to have his long time friend stay with us in September. This friend is flying in from England. Not just to see us, but was planning on spending four nights with us. I had to be realistic and explain to him my daily routine. After all if he is expecting to see my parents like they were pre-COVID, he would be in for a shock. I also do not think it is fair to have someone staying in our home, as we follow a very routinized schedule and in between there is a lot of napping (not by me of course!). My dad's friend understood what I wrote in the email, and determined he would stay at a hotel in Washington, DC and we would get together a few times. I think this will be better for him and definitely for us. As my days are filled with chores!