Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2008. It was Mattie's first week in the hospital, to start chemotherapy. We were all very edgy, nervous, scared, and truly frightened over what this journey was going to look like. The adjustment of living in one's home, to living in a two by four of a hospital room was tremendous. The room they put us in initially had NO shower. If you know anything about me, then you know my day can't start without a shower. I literally pitched a fit, and the next day they moved us to another room in the unit. Don't get excited however, because all the pediatric rooms SHARED showers with the room next door to them. In the age of viruses and germs, it is remarkable that this arrangement still exists. But having lived in the hospital for 14 months, it was amazing what we got used to. This photo was taken right outside Mattie's hospital room. Mattie's child life specialist set up a painting station and we worked hard at trying to change the tone and the mood of the day. That week was the only time Mattie wore a hospital gown. After that point, we followed Mattie's lead. His clothing choice in the hospital was always pajamas. So we developed quite a collection for him!
Quote of the day: She never seemed shattered; to me, she was a breathtaking mosaic of the battles she’s won. ~ Matt Baker
I am still at it with my family room wall. I rearranged the template configurations this morning and hopefully tomorrow I will get to measuring out the hooks for the first painting so I can get it hanging on the wall. I am trying to take my time with this, because I want to get it correct. I truly can't believe it is August, and that September is just around the corner. This September, will mark two years that I have lived life without my husband. Have I gotten used to living a single life? NO! Do I like it? Absolutely NOT! I certainly can acknowledge what I have single handedly accomplished since he left me, but even with that, I can't believe this is my life. I have had to learn all sorts of things. Literally it took me over a year to figure out that I had NO control over the thermostats in our home. Thankfully my HVAC company came over and helped to reprogram the system. But now I am having similar issues with our water sensors. Sensors which tell me if there is a flood in the house! I have just learned that these sensors haven't been working since my husband left. So I am trying to get down to the bottom of this problem too! When I tell you I am tired and exhausted, that is putting it mildly.
I took my parents out for brunch, the place we visit every Sunday. We haven't been to this restaurant for three weeks, since my dad's hospitalization. Today, Cheryl (our server) celebrated my birthday! I had a lovely meal and Cheryl took a photo of all three of us. When I saw the photo, I wanted to delete it. It is a visual that shows just how all this heartache has impacted me physically. To me, I looked worn out and sickly.
I try not to eat a lot of ice cream! However, I have to admit, it is one of my favorite things! So this was my treat for today.
