Tonight's picture was taken by Peter in June of 2006. Mattie and his buddy Zachary were at a Day Out with Thomas Event in Maryland. Clearly Peter captured these two buddies walking and talking. There is something about this picture I just love. I can't see their faces, but I can feel their energy together and can tell by Mattie's pace that he was excited and energized to be seeing Thomas and to be doing this with Zachary.
Quote of the day: There is no grief like the grief that does not speak. ~ Henry Wordsworth Longfellow
Despite my best attempt at trying to put words each and every day to grief, I do agree with Longfellow. The "grief that does not speak" is intense, overwhelming, heartbreaking, and at times paralyzing. I started my day with a beautiful and meaningful message from my Osteosarcoma friend, Karen. Karen lost her son, Keaton, to Osteosarcoma, and we began writing to each other while both of our boys were fighting this horrid disease. In so many ways, Karen and I parallel each other. Our feelings and thoughts tend to be quite similar even though we NEVER met, and we do not even live in the same State. I find during challenging times we write to each other for reality checks. After all our reality is NOT shared by many parents and though others may want us to snap out of it and "move on" that isn't going to happen. NO matter how badly you may want this for us. So with that said, what happens now? What happens to friendships? What happens to our former way of life? To the future? All excellent questions, and as I have learned over the course of almost three years (hard to believe this all started in 2008!) is that not all friendships and relationships can handle the test of cancer. Some dissolve despite the best of efforts and certainly not all our life interests and priorities remain the same, in fact, for me, most of the things I was involved in prior to Mattie's cancer no longer interest me. Mattie may have died on September 8, 2009, but the psychological ramifications and aftermath of cancer are alive and well.
I had to clear my head this morning, and decided to walk despite not feeling the greatest. But my headache was worse than my bladder condition, so I knew getting fresh air may help. I walked two miles alone, and then had the wonderful opportunity to bump into Coach Dave, a huge Mattie Miracle supporter at Mattie's school. Dave joined me for a bit as I continued my walk. Dave is instrumental in the logistical set up and flow of our Foundation Walk, and it was wonderful to have this one on one time with him to brainstorm May 22. Something told me I had to walk today, and I am so happy I listened to that feeling otherwise I would never have run into Dave.
Peter is holding his own in Bangladesh, and for him it is already Thursday there. He let me know that Friday is not a work day in Bangladesh, based on the cultural and religious practices of the Country. I always learn so much from Peter's trips. On Saturday, he boards a plane and flies to Kenya, where he will be working for another week before returning home.
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