Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006. Peter and Mattie took me out to lunch for Mother's Day in Maryland. Most likely before Peter snapped this picture, he asked Mattie to show me how much he loved me. I think his smile and face say it all! No gifts, cards, or words were necessary. The picture illustrates his love. I can also see that right next to me sits Mattie's bag of tricks (toys, books, legos, etc) which I always took with me anytime we went out to eat. Mattie was NOT interested in food or having a dining experience, but he was interested in interacting and playing while eating. So this bag was essential.
Quote of the day: I'm Gone now, but I'm still very near.
Death can never separate us.
Each time you feel a gentle breeze,
It's my hand caressing your face.
Each time the wind blows,
It carries my voice whispering your name.
When the wind blows your hair ever so slightly,
Think of it as me pushing a few stray hairs back in place.
When you feel a few raindrops fall on your face,
It's me placing soft kisses.
At night look up in the sky and see the stars shining so brightly.
I'm one of those stars and I'm winking at you and smiling with delight.
For never forget you're the apple of my eye. ~ Mary M. Green
I selected this quote/poem tonight because of a ladybug sighting I had last night. On my bedside table sits a reading lamp. I could hear something flying around the lamp last night, and I was just about to swat at whatever it was, when I saw it was a beautiful ladybug. Mattie and I loved ladybugs! I told Peter about this ladybug and his response to me was it was a little early in the season for ladybugs, and instead, Mattie was sending me a message that I wasn't alone. That he was checking in on me. In a way that notion was a very special Easter gift. So as I was reading this poem tonight, I couldn't help but pause again and reflect on the aspects that surround me in nature that are signs of Mattie's presence and his connection to me. These connections are all I have left.
I received a text message from my friend Tina today. She wanted to know if I wanted to go for a walk. I should be going for a walk everyday, but haven't been in the mood lately. However, her invitation got me to stop and to make the decision to go outside and get some fresh air. I met Tina at 2pm, and we walked outside with her dog, Max for about an hour. Max and I get along quite well and we seem to understand each other. Tina's neighborhood is filled with beautiful blooming trees, bushes, and flowers. It was an amazing sight of color to walk down each street. Somehow I never saw colors so vividly before as I saw them today and as we passed certain yards we just stopped and checked out flowers and fragrances. It was a gloriously warm weather day in Washington, DC, and it really made you feel that perhaps spring is finally here. I appreciated Tina's message today and our walk. Walking and talking always makes me feel better.
I began my day tackling this hospital script. I wrote another page to the script, but now am addressing the hardest part, the lessons learned. Lessons that may perhaps get physicians to think outside the box. I believe I have crafted a way of delivering this message without being negative or accusatory. Instead of discussing things that didn't work, I am reflecting on the things the medical staff did that worked beautifully and why. Or at least this is my current thinking.
I would like to end tonight's posting with a youtube video I came across last night. Frankly I did not even know this video existed. Peter must have put it on youtube a while ago! It is a short video of Mattie in his PICU room. He was sitting on his bed next to Katie, one of our outstanding HEM/ONC nurses. Mattie nicknamed Katie, Dorothy, because of her pretty shiny red shoes. Any case, I leave you with Katie and Mattie, and their version of ....... This Little Piggie!
Katie and Mattie --- This little piggie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUYwM972jD8&NR=1
No comments:
Post a Comment