Monday, June 27, 2011Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2007. Mattie went for a drive on his uncle's (Peter's brother) boat. Mattie was holding his cousin, Sydney's hand, and he thought the whole experience was fun and exciting. The faster the boat went, and the wilder the ride, the happier he was. He loved waves and motion and I hated it. Those of us closest to Mattie, knew he was saving his pennies and money to buy his own boat in the future. He wasn't referring to a toy boat either, he was referring to a real boat, and his dream was to have one and to be the captain of it. Children have all sorts of goals and desires as they are growing up, and as a parent you try to encourage these aspirations. However, I never guessed that cancer would be the reason why such a dream would be unobtainable.
Quote of the day: The caterpillar dies so the butterfly could be born. And, yet, the caterpillar lives in the butterfly and they are but one. So, when I die, it will be that I have been transformed from the caterpillar of earth to the butterfly of the universe. ~ John Harricharan
I would like to believe, as this quote implies, that all the butterflies I see, embody a part of Mattie's spirit. That his energy and life have been transformed from the ashes that sit in my dining room, into a colorful, quick, and freeing creature. I see butterflies in our garden as well as in Ann's garden on a regular basis.
Today, I added a beautiful hummingbird feeder to our garden. This vibrant colored hand blown glass feeder was given to me by Maria. Maria heads up one of the administrative offices in our complex. She has known us for over 15 years and she was very fond of Mattie. Maria loves our garden and this winter she gave me this special gift to incorporate into our garden to attract hummingbirds. The irony is last summer we were visited several times by hummingbirds, but I had NO feeder to keep them coming back. Peter and I have lived in our home for over 15 years, and yet, until last summer, I have NEVER seen a hummingbird visit us. We live in the heart of the city, so to me this fact isn't surprising. What was surprising was our visit by these special creatures. My hope is this beautiful red glass feeder will catch lots of attention this year.
At the end of each day, Peter and I have dinner outside on our deck. Surrounded by plants and Mattie's fountains. For us it is a way to unwind and reconnect with each other. Patches, our cat, joins us each night and sits with us while we are eating dinner. In a way, she fills the void, since we are used to having three around our table, instead of two. By 7:30pm, each night we have a show of nature unfold on our deck. We have a family of slugs who live in our petunia boxes. At a certain hour they slither out and start climbing up our garden walls. Usually heading to another flower box. I am not sure why this sight intrigues us or makes us laugh. But it is like clock work each evening, and if Mattie were alive, he would be absolutely fascinated by these creatures. So I suppose in a way, they make us reflect on him, because prior to having Mattie, I know I certainly wouldn't have stopped for even a second to watch a bug or any crawling type creature. Mattie has taught me to pause and appreciate the small and even slimy things around me.
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