Monday, October 3, 2011

Monday, October 3, 2011

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2005. We took Mattie to the DC Aquatic Gardens, a place he loved a lot because of the wonderful water lilies, lotus flowers, birds, turtles, and occasionally a snake or two. During one of our visits, we even saw a beaver swimming about and working on a dam. Mattie was a nature lover at heart, and in fact, when he was a baby I learned quickly, that he preferred being outside (regardless of the temperature) and simply seemed calmer and more at peace when in the fresh air and not confined. Mattie was born a free spirit and I must admit I learned a great deal from nurturing him in seven years, and in the process grew to love being outdoors, walking around, and exploring nature.

Quote of the day: There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state to another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life. ~ Alexandre Dumas

As promised, the question of the day is....................................................
Have you voted for Tricia (Mattie's nurse) today?
(Remember you can vote ONCE every 24 hours!!!)

For more information about the Johnson and Johnson Amazing Nurse Contest, please read my September 28, 2011 blog posting. Your daily vote is important and will bring Tricia closer to becoming a finalist.

Click on this link to vote for Patricia Grusholt: http://wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/157336/voteable_entries


I began my day with an email from Helen, Ann's cousin and my friend, Colleen. Both of my friends live in Massachusetts and were happy to hear of our travels up North this weekend. They sent me everything from weather reports to places to see and to dine at on Cape Cod!

I lived in Boston for only three years, yet in that short time I met some wonderful friends. In fact my friends, Jen, Colleen, and Angie are regular blog readers. The four of us survived graduate school together, which was no easy undertaking. Getting a master's degree (Angie got her doctorate) in biology at Boston College was challenging because in order to graduate we had to do original research and the research had to show significant findings. NO easy task!!! Which is why it took most students a great deal of time and commitment to graduate. I have experienced and seen enough abuses in graduate schools, to make you question the whole higher education system. My underlying joke while trying to survive each process was...... if I ever graduate I am going on Oprah. Well that never happened, but these difficult educational experiences created a bond among us, that exists whether we see each other often or not.

As I was getting myself ready to go out and walk this morning, I happened to look in Mattie's room, and right on Mattie's bed was this sight! Patches, our Calico cat, jumped on Mattie's bed, knocked over his National's baseball stuffed animal dog, and settled right in toward his pillows. To me this was a precious sight and illustrated to me that even Patches misses Mattie and knows that he is missing.


I had a walking companion today. Ann joined me, and as we walked close to three miles we caught up on life with each other. One of the things we talked about which was on my mind is the perception others have of me. It has come to my attention that some times people do not feel comfortable talking to me about their children, their lives, and their vacations in fear that this will hurt me or sadden me further. Or even worse that I will not think this information is important to know about. When friends tell me this, I try to step back and let them know that hearing about their normal and healthy lives is some times hard. Yet if we do not share each other's lives then nothing will connect us or bond us together. I have absorbed this information for a while now, and decided to simply ask Ann for her perspective today. I understand people do not want to hurt me, and I appreciate that, but in all reality it is hard to bring upon further sadness in my life. I do a job fine all by myself without help. But as I said to Ann, what is sad and does bring upon further loss is the simple fact that losing Mattie impacted our identity and therefore our social networks. Without children in your life, your circle dissipates drastically overnight. I try to put myself in the position of others, and I know it must be awkward to be a parent and talk with someone who has lost their only child to cancer.

This afternoon, Ann and I went to a fundraiser lunch hosted by her friend whose son has been diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. Normally, the immune system helps protect the body, but with Crohn's disease the immune system can't tell the difference between normal body tissue and foreign substances. The result is an overactive immune response that leads to chronic inflammation. This is called an autoimmune disorder. People with Crohn's disease have ongoing (chronic) inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract. Crohn's disease may occur in any area of the digestive tract. There can be healthy patches of tissue between diseased areas. The inflammation causes the intestinal wall to become thick.

Though I haven't experienced Crohn's Disease, I certainly know what havoc such a serious illness can cause on a child and his family. During the lunch, I had the opportunity to meet other moms who were there to support the mom hosting the event, and I always find it interesting to meet and learn about people. That is one thing that cancer hasn't changed!