Saturday, October 29, 2011

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2003. Mattie was a year and a half old. Mattie was not wild about wearing costumes at all. Which is why all of his costumes typically were easy and comfortable to wear. Mattie gravitated to bright and bold colors, and he loved pumpkins. He made a very cute pumpkin that year and in 2003 that was his first year going trick or treating. We went with his cousins who were living in Washington, DC at the time, but Mattie had mixed feelings about the whole experience. Remember Mattie did not like candy, so going out to collect candy was not a motivator at all. As he got older, though he still did not like candy, he enjoyed going trick or treating with friends and running around in the dark and checking out pumpkins and Halloween lights.

Quote of the day: Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

It snowed in Washington, DC today! This is the first time DC has seen such cold temperatures and snow in October since 1979! Peter was outside in our garden transferring our trees into our home. Typically we do not need to winterize our trees until November, but since it was in the 30s today, we started pulling in plants. The transfer included our lemon tree, fig rubber tree, dracena, pygmy date palm, 2 cat palms, and a croton. If you could only see my living room! These are NOT small trees either. While Peter was outside in the snow, I snapped a picture of him. You can't see the snow very clearly, but you will have to take my word for it. The snowflakes were huge.

We spent the entire day at home. The weather did not inspire us to leave, which was fine, because we had to clean out and reorganize our front hall closet. That alone took hours.

I am happy that in the midst of being couped up at home and focused on chores, that we planned to go out to dinner tonight with new friends. My friend Heidi, from Zumba class, suggested that we all go out to dinner with each other. As my faithful blog readers know, Heidi is an avid blog reader herself, which is how she knew who I was when I walked into zumba class that very first day. Heidi has been very kind and thoughtful to me in class, and when I heard her husband is from Boston, I figured this would be a good match for Peter too. Many of my friends live in Alexandria, VA and over time I have gotten used to commuting to them, rather than the other way around. However, Heidi suggested we meet in DC and have dinner in town. This was a first for me. We went to a restaurant I have wanted to try for years and we had a great time together. We were at dinner for over four hours, and what I want to comment on is the Boston Red Sox connection. Peter and Heidi's husband, Phil, were chatting about the Red Sox and other Boston teams. The table next to us, I am sure had heard our conversation throughout the evening, but did not say anything. That is until it was time for us to have dessert. At which point, they leaned over and recommended the chocolate lava cake. We got to talking with them and Heidi asked where the couple was originally from. It turns out that the man was from Connecticut, and naturally as a New Englander, he was a major Red Sox fan. The next thing I knew, this fellow, Peter, and Phil were chatting amongst each other about the Red Sox. This couple even shared their after dinner wine with us (talking about the Red Sox can do that to people!). It was quite the scene, and from my perspective I would seriously like to do a sociological study on.... the culture, personality, and interpersonal bonds among Red Sox fans. It is an immediate identifier, and links people together instantly, from ALL around the world. In fact, I would even say that the Red Sox connections are so instantaneous that they trump other commonalities between people including religion, school, profession, and geographic identities. 

However, the camaraderie did not end there. Our waiter overheard us chatting and he chimed in as well. He was not a Red Sox fan, but a Yankees fan, and this added a spark to the evening. Socializing with people can be challenging for Peter and I. Especially if the people did not know Mattie or the battle we survived and continue to experience. In fact, I would even say it takes a certain amount of courage to want to re-engage with others and let people into our lives while grieving the loss of a child. Mainly for me the reason is I know I am different. Most days I feel like I am more a part of the sick or terminally ill world, than the healthy and thriving world. So I always wonder what will I talk about and will I relate at all to any of the conversation? That fear went out the window tonight, and we all had a good time chatting and getting to know each other. I was happy to see Peter engaged, talking, and having a good time. So despite the weather, dinner was the highlight of our day.