Proud of my work -- 16 Years of Service

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



A Remembrance Video of Mattie

September 2, 2012

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Sunday, September 2, 2012


Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2002. Mattie was transitioned home from the hospital. It was a challenging transition for us because we quickly learned that Mattie did not like sleeping, and he especially hated lying on his back. This was one peaceful moment my camera captured, but for the most part, Mattie never slept in his crib. For the first three months of his life, he literally slept on my shoulder. I also learned quickly that NOT all babies like to be swaddled!


Quote of the day: A loving heart is the truest wisdom. ~ Charles Dickens


Today was our last full day in Boston. We ventured to Millford, New Hampshire to visit another set of antique stores. While shopping, I have to admit I now notice so many things with butterflies on them. Whether it be on china, pottery, jewelry, and even vintage clothing. I am not sure I would have even looked at butterflies before Mattie died. Now, I am intrigued by all things that are butterfly related!

At lunch time we went to a 50s themed diner in New Hampshire. When we walked in the door, there were all sorts of toy antique cars displayed, old fashioned car seats, and even old gas pumps around the diner. All I could think of at first glance was Mattie. Mattie would have absolutely been in awe of all the cars and the red colors throughout the diner.

For me it is hard to travel without Mattie because I can't help but reflect on things that he would have wanted to do or would have been attracted to. Mattie was a child with a great imagination, lots of interests, and an incredible energy to explore his world. Somehow with his loss, that level of energy is missing from our lives.

On Monday morning, Peter and I will drive back to DC. Being Labor Day, I am bracing for traffic. So tomorrow I will be writing to you from DC! Weighing on my mind is Tuesday's MRI. I am hoping the test shows no changes, but I have to admit each time I go to the Hospital, all I remember is every MRI result I ever got on Mattie. Results that still resonate in my head and heart.


Posted by The Brown Family (DC) at 5:12 PM

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