Wednesday, October 31, 2012Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008, Mattie's last Halloween. Mattie celebrated Halloween in two places that year. One was at the Hospital. In this Hospital picture you can see featured with Mattie was a human pumpkin. Better known as Mattie's big buddy Brandon. Mattie accepted Brandon into his life and truly gravitated to him at the Hospital. Mattie felt that Brandon understood him and that he could trust him. As Mattie told Toni (Brandon's mom), "Brandon is my best friend." The second way Mattie celebrated Halloween in 2008, was he went trick or treating with his preschool buddy Zachary. That was a night I will never forget. Mattie joined Zachary at his house, and the boys went trick or treating with a few other kids from Zachary's neighborhood. Because Mattie was recovering from limb salvaging surgery, he moved slower and was very cautious about his arm. So while the other kids were running down the sidewalks from house to house to obtain candy, Mattie was unable to do this. As a result he was getting frustrated and felt very different. He landed up walking with me for part of the night. It was obvious to me that Zachary's friends were pressuring him to join them and dump Mattie, however, Zachary confronted the issue and told his friends to go on without him because he was staying with Mattie. It was a mature and very beautiful decision made by a six year old. A decision I will never forget.
Quote of the day: Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold. ~ Judith Olney
In light of the fact that today is Halloween, I thought tonight's quote was appropriate. Clearly my readers who appreciate my addiction to sweets know just how special a piece of chocolate is and how it can improve even the worst of moods. I know today is October 31, but it just doesn't feel like Halloween. Part of it is me and the other part is knowing that people are attempting to recover from Hurricane Sandy. I realize so many in New York and New Jersey are living in havoc and therefore children there are unable to celebrate the day.
I spent most of the day working and then later in the afternoon, I met up with Peter and together we traveled to a polling center in DC and voted. We have never been able to vote early in DC before, this year is a first! But we definitely know the chaos of election day and the long lines that can take hours to process through. So voting early was the WAY TO GO! In 20 minutes I voted and got to scan my own ballot into the machine and I even watched it being counted.
I decided to spend the evening with my friend Mary, who lives in an assisted living facility. While chatting with Mary tonight I reflected with her on Halloween of 2009. That was my first Halloween without Mattie, and Mary had just lost her husband. That year, Mary and I were both at Ann's house and together we gave out candy to children in the neighborhood who stopped by to trick or treat. It is hard to believe this picture was taken only three years ago. Back then I was numb and Mary was more alert and talking. In essence we were both capable of celebrating Halloween in 2009. This year, neither Mary nor I are celebrating Halloween. Certainly for different reasons! When Mary saw me today, she wanted me to know that she considers me a "brave girl." I asked her why and the response was not understandable, but I can use my imagination and fill in the blanks with Mary. We spent several hours together tonight, and I truly believe my role with Mary is that of a sounding board, a companion, and emotional support. It is a lot easier to serve in this capacity because we are not related. I am not responsible for Mary's overall care and those demanding logistics, therefore it frees me up to be able to focus on the social and emotional aspects of Mary's life. Mary enjoyed eating the butternut squash that I baked this weekend and she appreciated me bringing it to her. As I was getting ready to leave, she stopped me to let me know that tonight she was "cared for by an angel." A line that always gets me to smile. Mary's kind words and compassion go a long way for me, because she has no real incentive to tell me these things. She just naturally feels this way and therefore I consider her words gifts.
Where Peter and I live in DC, we never get trick or treaters. It just doesn't happen. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. But a part of me wants to see children and participate in the holiday and the other part of me feels I am not entitled to. A conflict that lives inside of me each day, but it gets heightened on holidays and special occasions.
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