Monday, November 19, 2012Tonight's picture was taken in February of 2009, on Valentine's Day. I will never forget that day. Mattie was adamant that he wanted to make me something special. Basically Mattie had me leave the Child Life playroom and with the help of Jenny and Jessie (his art therapists), he later surprised me with many Mattie creations. One was on my head! A paper wreath of hearts. Mattie also made me a big box filled with hearts and various Mattie messages of love. I still have this hand decorated box in my closet. Needless to say, this moment of love (which Jenny fortunately captured on camera) now has to last me a lifetime. When I reflect on tonight's quote, which really resonates with me, Mattie will never be forgotten, nor will I ever stop talking about him. I love Jeanette Winterson's analogy..... in essence the hole in my heart is in the shape of Mattie. So if I were to stop reflecting on Mattie it most likely would mean that my heart stopped working.
Quote of the day: "You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever. You don’t get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never loses. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to? ~ Jeanette Winterson
I could reflect further on tonight's quote, but the quote itself has left me in tears. When someone can write or speak words that capture the feelings, frustrations, and profound loss that are in your heart, it is a powerful feeling. Winterson's quote was able to quickly do that for me tonight.
My day began by delivering 972 pounds of candy to Georgetown University Hospital. Once I got to the Hospital, I was fortunate to have Linda (Mattie's Child Life Specialist) and her staff specialists Katie and Jess meet me. They had carts in tow and within 15 minutes removed all the candy from our Explorer. Before any candy was removed, I snapped a picture of our very full car. I entitled this photo, "a MMCF special delivery!"
A close up! I can certainly say that Peter's explorer was drooping in the back. It was weighed down by all the candy! 
I can't tell you how many people came up to us while we were unloading the car to see if we would give them some candy! It was hysterical. One man was so enthralled by what he was seeing that he offered to take a picture of us! Pictured with me are Katie and Linda, and of course several carts filled with candy!
Later this evening I went to visit my friend Mary, who lives in an assisted living facility. I try to see Mary at least once a week. When I entered the facility tonight I had one woman stop me. She is a daughter of a patient. She sees me each time I visit however, she wanted me to know she saw me on the news. She said she couldn't get over it! Someone she sees all the time in person, was now on the news. She had me laughing. When I arrived in Mary's room, Mary seemed exhausted and out of sorts. I know that feeling all too well, and usually I can talk right through it with her. It helped that I brought home made chicken soup that I made this weekend and some corn muffins. Fortunately Mary is like me, in that food can change our moods quickly. Mary ate all the soup and said that it made her feel better, and of course no night would be complete without her telling me I must be an angel. Which of course always gets me to smile. Clearly we both know I am not an angel, but what she is saying is that she appreciates my visits and company.
No comments:
Post a Comment