Monday, March 18, 2013Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2008. A month before Mattie was diagnosed with cancer. Almost hard to believe! Patches was always very good with Mattie. In this particular case, Mattie wanted to feed Patches and he wanted to pet her at the same time. Patches was never a very cuddly type but she put up with it when it came to Mattie. Patches was patient with Mattie and she survived his tail pulling and chasing phases. But eventually he became a gentle and compassionate pet owner. So much so that when friends came to visit and tried to chase Patches, he would instruct them on how they needed to act and behave around her.
Quote of the day: There are no ordinary cats. ~ Colette
I began my day with a phone call to Patches vet. We discussed the next steps. When growing up, my family put many of our sick cats to sleep, however, I was never involved in the process. All I can recall is dropping the cat off at the vet, but never being in the room for a cat's last breath. I am sure most pet owners do not elect to do this, but in all reality Peter and I have been up close and personal with death. Helping Mattie die was horrific, because he did not want to die! We basically had to induce a coma and then of course we sat with him as he flat lined. A sound I will never forget. I don't care how experienced one is as a medical professional or how many patients a doctor may have lost in his/her career. The fact of the matter is when it is your child dying, it is different! The horror is all too real and personal and in so many ways it feels as if you have been transported to a war zone.
The vet today explained the process of "letting go." Frankly when she talked in these cutesy terms I had NO idea what she was talking about. Letting go could mean just about anything to me. So I had her clarify what on earth she was talking about. We walked through how an animal is put to sleep which involved both a sedative to calm the animal and then an IV drug to stop the animal's heart from beating. Not unlike what we did with Mattie. If I denied that this whole process doesn't remind me of Mattie, I would be kidding myself. In so many ways, this is like a double whammy.
After Patches dies the next question I asked the vet is what do we do with her remains? We have three options: 1) we take her body home and bury her somewhere outside the city limits (which though this is lovely, we do not live outside the city, nor do we have a backyard), 2) we allow her body to be cremated with other animals, and with this opinion we do not get her remains back, or 3) we have her privately cremated and get her remains back. A lot to absorb and take in. But right now as I am writing this, Patches is running around our home trying to rip the insides of her mouth out. Her mouth is bothering her (since the cancer is in her jaw) and both of her paws are bloody from tearing the insides of her mouth. As I told Peter tonight, I CAN'T take it!!! I can't take seeing her like this, in pain, unable to eat, and when she tries to eat, she freaks out and tears at her mouth. If you ask Peter his opinion on this he would simply say that he is tired of helping to assist with DEATH!
2 comments:
Know that you are often thought of by this faithful reader whose heart aches with you, as you go thorugh this painful time with Patches. May you rejoice in the memories cutie Patches created with your family and with your beautiful boy Mattie.
I too am a faithful reader of your blog and am so sorry you are having to endure this horrific pain again. Everyone has their own beliefs, but I would like to believe Patches will join his little buddy Mattie when he leaves this world. You don't want to see loved ones suffer but you don't want to say goodbye......I'm not telling YOU anything YOU don't already know. A big hug and love your way.
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