GOOD-BYE ...... "TIGER BABY PUMPKIN CABBAGE PATCH" (Peter's name for Patches)!!!
Tonight's picture was taken on April 27, 2002. Mattie was 23 days old and guess who was in and amongst us checking everything out?! PATCHES!!! As you can see, Patches was perched on the arm of our couch and did her best to lend moral support. We certainly needed a lot of it back then and we had no idea that caring for a newborn was going to be a piece of cake in comparison to battling osteosarcoma six years later.
Sweet Patches from your "kitten-hood"
you were so smart and dear.When we were ill you understood
and we would find you near.
We loved you from the start you see
adorable sweet kitty!
You came to us; twas meant to be!
You found us in this city!
Sweet nurse, friend and protector
but you will always always be
forever in our hearts!
I would like to begin tonight's posting with a BIG THANK YOU for all your supportive emails today. I have received messages from friends and faithful readers who I never even met before. Thank you for reading Mattie's blog across the Country and beyond. We received a lovely message of support today as far away as Australia! Mattie's life, his presence, and story are far reaching and it makes me smile to hear that something you are reading on this blog resonates with you and gives you pause and reason to reflect.
Over the past couple of days I have received many messages from people sharing their own loss of their beloved pets. The loss of Patches has touched you personally and evokes memories and feelings of saying good-bye to your own furry friends. Thank you for sharing these stories with me and for reliving those moments with me. As painful as they are! It is helpful to know that what Peter and I are feeling is understood and I also appreciate how so many of you realize how this loss ties into Mattie's death. Needless to say I have found the only way to survive grief is to have others walk this road with us, and I thank you once again for walking this journey as we now say good-bye to Patches. (NOTE: this was all written before 4:40pm--before Patches was put to sleep)
It is now 5:40pm, and Patches is gone from our world. Patches' vet is in Dupont Circle, and though I LOVE the vet and the people working there, I HATE the location. I get so frustrated with parking that I want to drive literally into a building and leave the car exactly where I crash it! Today Peter was driving thankfully. As some of you may recall, the last time I was at the vet in January (for Patches' diagnosis), I got an $100 parking ticket and I avoided being towed by seconds!
Peter and I drove around and around for 15 minutes today looking for parking. With each minute I was getting more and more agitated!! At which point, Peter dropped Patches and I off and continued to look for parking. Fortunately a local hotel took pity on our situation and allowed Peter to valet park right in front of the hotel. To me that was an act of mercy! There are angels amongst us.
Meanwhile, while Patches and I were inside, I processed the paperwork and bill. Though Peter and I weren't exactly on the same page about Patches remains, I made the decision for a private cremation. I want Patches ashes. To me they are important, as are Mattie's which are with me too. Naturally if I was being pragmatic, I would be saying to myself...... "Vicki you have no children, who is going to inherit these ashes?!" But as I tell people always, there is NO rationalization with grief, which is why Peter did not even skip a beat when I told him of my final decision. In the end, I know Peter wants me to do whatever I need to do to find peace. So in two weeks, Patches will be back home with us in some form. We had time to say good-bye to Patches, hug her, kiss her, and Peter even cut some of her fur to preserve. Needless to say, we are not in the best of moods or place tonight.
As so many of you shared with me, putting an animal to sleep is a VERY peaceful process. The vet administered a sedative to Patches NOT within our presence. That was probably a good thing. When Patches came back to us she was very calm and then through an IV was administered a lethal dosage of a barbiturate. Within 20 seconds Patches' heart stopped beating. Unlike Mattie's death, Patches' death seemed humane and peaceful. The vet assured us we were making the correct decision and were sparing Patches further pain and suffering. Patches was no longer the girl we knew. Her face was distorted, she was unable to eat or drink, but I have to tell you her spirit was still with us. She responded to us, meowed, and trotted around after us. An amazing cat!
The end of an era! That's what it feels like today contemplating Patches' final day with you. It is the final blow that leaves only memories of those brief happy days of the past when Mattie brought sunshine into our lives and Patches, his sidekick, was a willing co-conspirator in whatever happened to be on Mattie's radar that day. Together they made beautiful music and their like will not be seen again any time soon. Patches, like our Mattie, will never be forgotten!! May she join up with her pal in Heaven to engage in their familiar antics and pranks that enlivened our lives unforgettably so that the Angels will know exactly what it is that we who are left behind miss so dearly!
1 comment:
Sending you a respectful hug filled with warm wishes for a quick recovery from the loss of your loyal Patches. I always read your blog and have come to love your beautiful boy Mattie as if he was part of my own family. You are NOT alone in this pain, and in your daily struggles to face the world without Mattie, and now without your lovely nurse patches.
Keep being the amazing woman that you are. You bring lots of inspiration to many like myself.
Warmly,
Est D.
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