Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2002. Mattie was three months old and doing something he really did not care for.... which was lying on his back. He tolerated that slightly more than tummy time, which he absolutely despised! Mattie spent the first six months of his life sleeping on my shoulder. When he wasn't on my shoulder, he was sleeping in his car seat. But he was always upright. The joke that Peter and I always had was Mattie practically vomited on every floor in our home. His output was almost as fast as the input! Which is why keeping him upright may have been a more comfortable position for him in the long run, but it was what Mattie gravitated to, and given that he could cry for hours, he conditioned us well to follow his needs.
Quote of the day: One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on "going it alone." Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help" and "those who need help." The truth is that we are both. ~ Brené Brown
I would have to say that Brene Brown's quote most definitely applies to me in that I view myself more as a helper than a person who likes to ask for help. She maybe correct, there may be a perception issue about asking for help, in that I may not look competent in the area I am deemed the so called expert. There are so many reasons why we do not ask for help from others, and I suspect trust in those around us also comes into play. But with regard to the two issues today, I knew I needed help. One issue was regarding my licensure board. I can't go into the specific issue because of ethical reasons, but despite being the chair of this professional board, I knew it was important to take my vice chair to this meeting. My vice chair is a male, he is a clinician with years of experience and I also know there is strength in numbers. Together we would serve as a unified force. Not that I can't hold my own, but we are much stronger together and I was happy I asked for his help today. So that was my first observation for the day. The second observation was regarding the book chapter. I continue to be hitting my head against a wall, figuratively, not literally, and decided to just make sure that my frustration with the lack of research that I am finding is the reality and that I am not missing something. So I contacted two of the psychologists that I am working with on this book project to just verify my concerns. After all, the psychosocial care of children with cancer is their area of expertise, not mine.
I think reaching out to others in the end and getting help is always the sign of maturity, of health, and also of being an effective leader. No one can know everything, and if anyone thinks they do that should also be a red flag. Life is about constantly learning, redefining one's self, and being open to other people's thoughts, knowledge, and expertise. I think at times I can find that Mattie's cancer has caused me to want to insulate myself from the world and others, but today showed me that at times we really do need to all work together.
No comments:
Post a Comment