Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. This big chair is actually a rocker. We got it when we were expecting Mattie! Thinking this would be the perfect chair to rock Mattie in! The irony was Mattie did not really like sitting or being rocked in a chair!!! I still have this chair, it seems to have migrated around our home. It is now in our bedroom. It was funny that I captured Mattie sitting on this chair because he really did not sit in it much, in fact, I would say Patches (our calico) spent more time in it! I happen to LOVE this chair and as I reflect on this photo, I remember what Mattie was wearing so vividly! It was his summer Scooby Doo pajama set! Mattie was in love with Scooby Doo and though his legs are blocking the picture of Scooby, I remember it well!
Quote of the day: Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. ~ Benjamin Franklin
I think Benjamin Franklin said it so well!!! I usually do not sit back and take kudos. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I am usually hard on myself. But I would have to say in two months time, I not only wrote something worth reading, but I did something worth writing about! I can't take credit for the latter.
Mattie unfortunately developed cancer and as such, Peter and I were placed in the situation of learning about childhood cancer and being his caregivers under the most dire of circumstances. Of course, how one chooses to be a caregiver is ultimately a personal decision! I would like to think that how we chose to perform our roles however was exemplary. I had no control over Mattie getting cancer. Nonetheless, he set the stage for providing me with something very meaningful and heart wrenching to write about. That did not mean I had to pursue it and do anything at all with this content or my feelings. I could have tried to put them somewhere and navigate through the world without focusing upon them. Like so many people would have liked me to do.....to just LIVE A NORMAL LIFE. The problem is once you lose a child to cancer, your life is NOT normal anymore. Instead, you really have to work hard at figuring out what life will look like for you again. You have to reinvest or recreate yourself.
In any case, I am mentally tired, emotionally worn out, and physically spent from sitting by a computer for so long this summer. I can say that the chapter is done. I will be proofing it this weekend, but there is no more original content to write and NO MORE re-writes! I am beyond thrilled!!!
This evening I was outside watering in my garden and I could hear people were trying to get my attention. So I looked up! The next building over to me were two women looking down at me and into my garden. They were admiring the garden and they were clearly not from this Country. The first question they asked me was WHERE WAS I FROM?! They truly felt that I could not be from AMERICA! When I insisted I was and that I lived in this particular location for almost 18 years, they were in shock. They did not think that someone from here could put such a garden together. I wasn't sure how to respond, but I knew they meant it as a compliment. When I told them that I call the garden my "secret garden" they smiled and said they could see why! They made me feel very good tonight! I work very hard on the garden and it brings me joy, but I also think seeing this piece of happiness in an area filled with concrete has got to bring sunshine to others. So when people stop me to tell me they notice, it is a gift.
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