Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken on August 6 of 2009. The day after we found out that Mattie's case was terminal. Mattie posed for a photo next to Roxanne. Roxanne was a traveling nurse from Florida. Though she wasn't at Georgetown long, we liked Roxanne and she understood the severity of our issues right away! I was in a blur that day so frankly I have NO recollection of where Mattie got that toy boat. I do not know if he got it from the clinic, from Linda (his child life specialist), or if it was something Team Mattie gave to him. Either case, it was something that brightened his day, and no doubt he opened it up and most likely floated it in the sink by the art therapy table!


Quote of the day: The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served. ~ Gordon B. Hinckley


I spent the day at home either glued to the computer or the kitchen! After 18 years of faithful service, our refrigerator decided it had enough! One shelf would either freeze the food, while another shelf wouldn't keep the food cold at all. I had just about enough of that, along with seeing good food go to waste. So today, my complex replaced my refrigerator. Along with the new refrigerator, I had the pleasure of meeting John. I am sure I have run into John before, but today, we spent a lot of time together transferring refrigerators. John, is aware of Mattie, and even asked me about our October candy drive. In any case, I told John he is my Renaissance man because after helping me with the refrigerator, I had him helping me with curtains, a bathtub, and a toilet! There is no end to his talents and now that I know he exists on our property, well the possibilities are endless. 

Transferring things from one refrigerator to another shouldn't be that big of a deal in theory! But it is!!! Because I have MORE things on the outside of my refrigerator than on the inside. My refrigerator tells a story. I collect magnets from each place I VISIT and of course I have Mattie's art work and other collectibles of his on the refrigerator as well. When Mattie was in preschool, he made Peter Father's day gifts (one in 2005 and one in 2006) and he made me Mother's day gifts. They are up on the refrigerator and prominently displayed. In fact, When Mattie was in Margaret's classroom, the Mother's Day gift that he made me was the colorful Popsicle stick frame that you see with a photo of him and I inside of it. It was a photo that Margaret took of us the day I came into her classroom to decorate gingerbread houses with the kids. Whereas the green Popsicle frame was the Father's Day gift Mattie made in Margaret's classroom that year. Then in the following year, when Mattie was in Kathy's preschool class, he made me the Mother's day gift next to the Statue of Liberty magnet. It looks like a picture of a girl. Well that girl is me. Underneath it is say "my mom." You maybe able to see one dot in the center of my dress, that is supposed to be my HEART! Apparently this was Mattie's idea to include my heart, because this is how he viewed me. The other drawing near that one, is entitled, "my dad," and Mattie gave that one to Peter for Father's Day in 2006. 

In a way I am happy I had the refrigerator as a diversion today since there have been aspects of the book chapter that have been weighing on my mind. I have a particular writing style and yet I know the audience for whom this book is intended. Therefore, I have to tailor my words and messages to fit that audience. I do not necessarily like doing this because at times it makes me feel disingenuous but then I also realize if I wanted to get my message across to people in a foreign land, I can't speak English. I would need to deliver the message in their native tongue. So I am trying to come to peace with that revelation, but it isn't an easy concept for me because the message I am delivering is not just theory. My message is personal. Well of course I am delivering research too, but mixed in the research is also an unfortunate statistic, a statistic which I am living and breathing every day (the loss of Mattie). Which is something I am quite sure separates me from the average practitioner.