Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2009. By this point we already knew that Mattie's cancer was terminal. Mattie was sitting outside on our deck and what you can't see was we had a kiddie pool near his feet. In the past Mattie would have been in the pool with all of his toys, but given his weakened condition and the fact that he had IVs, he wasn't going in the water. Instead, he had his toy motor boats in the water and he put on his captain hat, because like any good captain, he wanted to let us know he was in charge of the situation at hand!
Quote of the day: I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time. ~ A.A. Milne (Author of Winnie the Pooh)
Today I made significant headway on the chapter I am writing. I finished a section! For me, it felt like I climbed a mountain, even though I never left my desk chair! A rather sedentary experience!!! It is hard to see the summer go by and be stuck inside, but I continue to remain focused, and yet very tired. In the process of writing I received an email from my friend Maria. She wanted me to know about her dream last night. The funny part is I too had a strange dream last night, but I tried to put it out of my head.
Maria works in our complex and she has known us since we moved into our complex years ago. She knew us before we had Mattie! Maria let me know that in her dream she was visited by Mattie. The dream had an entertaining component to it because it involved sorting change.... pennies, dimes and quarters. Why is that funny? Because Mattie LOVED change! In fact, he could find money everywhere.... on the street, in stores, on the ground. You name it! Once in a grocery store, he dove behind the check out clerk just to obtain a penny behind the register. This clerk did not know what hit her. So the fact that in Maria's dream they were sorting change was actually quite believable! As Maria's dream came to an end, Mattie told Maria to make sure she says "hi to me" from him! So a message to me through someone else! Maria wasn't sure she should tell me, because she wasn't sure if this would upset me. But Mattie messages are always something I want to hear.
I think when you lose a child, there is a natural fear of how your child is doing. What exists after death? If you grew up believing in the concept of heaven, then you wonder does heaven really exist? You are left with a lot of questions and a lot of what ifs! So I appreciated the notion that perhaps Mattie really said hello to me on some level!
While Maria was visited by Mattie in a dream, I was jostled awake by my own dream this morning. In my dream I was getting a phone call. When I went to answer the phone, at the other end of the line was my friend Margaret. Margaret recently died in June. Because this whole notion must have been so overwhelming I have no idea what happened after the phone rang. I literally woke right up and therefore do not know the point of the dream or what was being communicated to me. Nonetheless, I find it interesting and not necessarily a coincidence that Mattie and Margaret were channeled to me somehow today.
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