Monday, October 20, 2014

Monday, October 20, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2003. I eluded to this photo in last night's posting and I found it!!! Mattie just loved this chicken. He really did not want to catch the chicken as much as he wanted to imitate her. But of course the chicken had no clue, I am sure she was frightened nonetheless! 


Quote of the day: Perhaps the only limits to the human mind are those we believe in. ~ Willis Harman 


Today was a busy day as I prepare for a conference in Toronto! In the midst of that I realized that I also had another conference proposal to generate because the application deadline is October 31. At many points today I wanted to say, JUST FORGET IT. I am tired and somewhat mentally spent. But there is some truth to tonight's quote..... 

My friend Ann sent me a link to a story entitled, A Poet On Losing His Son: 'Before You Heal, You Have To Mourn.' The author is Edward Hirsch. I included the link, because it is really worth the read and also worth listening to his 7 minute interview as he reads some of his poetry regarding the death of his son. Mr. Hirsch is a poet by profession and is naturally gifted at expressing himself in this manner. Which helps, but what I found intriguing is not only his feelings but his insights on GRIEF!!!
http://www.npr.org/2014/09/05/345796530/a-poet-on-losing-his-son-before-you-heal-you-have-to-mourn

This dad openly admits that after losing his son tragically and unexpectedly, he couldn't function at work. He also became desperate and started to fear that he would forget memories and things about his son! Which I totally understand and in part feel compelled to write the blog. Are there days I rather not write? Absolutely!!! It is very taxing to have to sit at the end of the day and sometimes be open about my feelings, but for the most part I write because it provides me a space to keep Mattie alive. Grieving parents do not have such spaces in our daily lives!!! Mr. Hirsch expresses this same sentiment, which is why he writes his poetry! 

I love how Mr. Hirsch explains in his interview how he initially began talking about his son Gabriel to family and friends and then reached out to strangers in a coffee shop! Anything to keep the stories alive, to make sure his boy and his spirit would never die. When writing he feels he is with Gabriel. He is a poet at heart and poetry takes courage and it makes him articulate how he is FEELING. It allows him to express himself and it gives him a place to put his grief. He is so right, our society is all about HEALING and NOT about grieving. In fact we don't even like hearing about grieving and we want people to get over it as soon as possible. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that.

I absolutely love Mr. Hirsch's description of Mourning. To me it is spot on beautiful. I couldn't have captured it better. A parent's grief is long term and internal. No one really walks this lonely journey with you. The analogies are all truly illuminated in this poem, such as carrying a bag of cement, up a mountain, but the trick is there is no top to this mountain. It is endless and his description of TIME resonates with me to no end. This is a man who gets it! BRAVO!!!! There is someone out there who speaks my language. 

Excerpt: Gabriel

I did not know the work of mourning
Is like carrying a bag of cement
Up a mountain at night

The mountaintop is not in sight
Because there is no mountaintop
Poor Sisyphus grief 

(NOTE: In Greek Mythology Sisyphus was punished for chronic deceitfulness by being compelled to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this action forever. So this is unending grief, too heavy to bear.)

I did not know I would struggle
Through a ragged underbrush
Without an upward path

Because there is no path 
There is only a blunt rock
With a river to fall into

And Time with its medieval chambers 
Time with its jagged edges
And blunt instruments

I did not know the work of mourning
Is a labor in the dark
We carry inside ourselves