Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2003. Mattie was a year and half old. This was his second Halloween and I remember shopping with him at Target for his costume. Mattie was very sensitive to anything that was rough on his skin and he certainly did not want anything around his neck or his head. So this soft plushy pumpkin sweatsuit seemed like the perfect first Halloween costume to wear.
Quote of the day: Great grief does not of itself put an end to itself. ~ Seneca
Workin' 9 to 5
toiling all day in a room, a
way to earn good cash....
But not half as fun as Zumba!
Workin' 9 to 5,
dedicated to each issue,
You'll be the best one there...
But Jenny, we will miss you!
How did I come to this zumba class? Well my first zumba class was on a cruise ship with my mom. I enjoyed it and found it good exercise, so I decided I would try it when I returned home. However, given how I felt about losing Mattie, I honestly did not want to go out and venture into the world. Not with people I did not know or who did not understood what I have been surviving. When I found that Jenny was teaching a zumba class, I decided to try it. I assure you this was a big leap out of my comfort zone because in many ways I view the world as me versus everyone else. To me Jenny was a known quantity because her daughter and Mattie were in the same kindergarten class together and she knew what I had been through and continue to live with.
I will never forget the first day back in 2011, when I came to Jenny's class. Another woman by the name of Heidi was in the class and she came up to me as soon as I entered the room and gave me a big hug. I was confused because I did not know Heidi, but she seemed to know me. I found out she had been reading Mattie's blog throughout his illness. So in essence she felt like she knew me. Heidi was one of my first friends I made after Mattie died and the connection to Heidi and Jenny, made this class emotionally doable for me.
To most people, when they hear that my zumba class is ending, it seems like no big deal to them. But to me it is a huge deal. This class has given my life structure for four years, it forced me up and out during the week, and it also made me interact with the world around. I joke with Jenny that her class was therapeutic for me, but I am actually not kidding. It was a social experience, in a safe environment, in which I felt understood, despite being so different from those around me.
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