Sunday, November 1, 2015

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Tonight's two pictures were taken in October of 2005, around the time of Halloween. Before Mattie was admitted to the hospital for sepsis from an ear infection. Mattie never went trick of treating that year because he was admitted to Virginia Hospital Center. Yet he and I worked hard on designing this wonderful calico costume. Even down to the fuzzy ears and M name tag! 

It has been bothering me that I had no photos of Mattie from October 2005, so I went back to our on-line photo account with Shutterfly and found them. Who knows where they are on my computer. I lost them. But thanks to Shutterfly, I am downloading photos I haven't seen in years. In October, my students at the George Washington University used to host a Halloween party for children all over the DC area. They always invited Mattie. I am happy to see that Mattie did go to that party before he got sick. This photo shows us walking to the University party.


Quote of the day: Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful...~ José N. Harris


Waiting for results to me is very nerve wracking. It is hard to not play out scenarios in one's head, and the what ifs can truly provoke anxiety. The radiologist promised me she would call me tomorrow. But I am NOT a phone person on a good day, much less on a day where I could be receiving results. All I know is I can only take it one step at a time, and deal with it as information is presented to me. Because we needed a diversion today, we went to the movies. That may not sound earth shattering to the average reader, but for me this must mean I am in crisis. I never go to the movies, and Peter and I reflected the last time we were in a theatre together, had to be 7 years ago. Needless to say, the movie we saw, Our Brand is Crisis, was horrible, and it further reminds me why I don't go to the movies anymore. 

This is the second time in my life in which I have had a cancer scare. In February 2012, I had my first scare with numerous masses in my pelvis being identified. After having a CT of the pelvis, a radiologist said that the masses were indicative of adenoma malignum. A very aggressive cancer. Again, my world stopped and I lived with this nightmare for two years. The masses are located in a position that they can't be biopsied. So instead, they were followed month to month and then every couple of months for years. Until finally they were deemed cysts. With each scan, I was living on the edge, and I didn't need much help since I was already over the edge losing Mattie. Now apparently losing my only child and dealing with the pelvis cancer scare isn't enough. I need a second one! 

The highlight of my day was receiving two candy drive collection photos. This photo was sent to me by my college roommate, Leslie. She coordinates the candy drive in Maryland and has done this for years. Apparently the candy you see here was collected in the first 15 minutes of Leslie's drive today!

This photo was taken in my friend, Heidi's home. Heidi has been instrumental in our candy drive for years. She announces our drive on her community listserv, and collects and SORTS hundreds of pounds a candy for us each year. She even recruited her sister Stella (pictured here) to sort candy today! A real family mission!