Tonight's picture was taken at Mattie's fourth birthday party. We held the party at Riverbend Park in Great Falls, VA. It was a fun party that included a walk in the woods with a naturalist, the opportunity to meet animals up close and personal (which Mattie loved), and an archaeological dig. Well a dig in a sand box, with the goal of finding plastic dinosaur toys. It was a hit of a day for Mattie and a handful of his close friends from preschool.
Quote of the day: Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something. ~ Jackson Brown Jr.
If someone would have told me how hard it would be to recover from a 40 minute surgery, I would have been perplexed. After all, Mattie's surgeries were 12-14 hours long. How he was able to function at all, post surgery is remarkable, and on top of the surgery he had cancer treatment. My surgery gives me even greater insight into just how strong and brave Mattie was at age 7!
Last night, I was unable to sleep. A wave of nausea came over me. I have been battling this since I came home from surgery. But last night, was so bad, I vomited profusely. In addition, kidney stones can produce constipation, but for me, it is off the charts. Another thing I now understand better as Mattie's medications made him so uncomfortable, but I truly did not get how debilitating constipation can be and how it can trigger chills and nausea.
On top of not sleeping, I had to head to the hospital today for a mammogram and ultrasound. My internist said she felt a lump yesterday and naturally that sent me into panic mode. The problem with seeing our child be diagnosed with cancer, treated and die, is that the after effects on parents are huge. In many ways, every time I have to go for testing I prepare for the worst, as in the back of my mind, I fear that I too will get cancer. It makes for a challenging existence.
In any case, the mammogram waiting area was busy today. We women started talking to each other. Particularly what caught our attention was the happy and light nature of the techs working in the breast center. Frankly it was a bit over the top, especially when several of us were in the waiting room wondering whether we had cancer. I think there is a fine line between being pleasant and being inappropriately jolly given the nature of the environment you are working in. Several of us joked, as we wanted to know whether the techs thought we were invited to a party and NOT a mammogram!
I went through a long mammogram process today. Then waited for 15 minutes. After which I was called back for an ultrasound. The person performing the ultrasound was the same radiologist who did my biopsy in 2015. So I figured this was a sign that this was happening again. The radiologist is quiet and I am unable to read her. However, she asked me questions about the site and confirmed this was where I had surgery. She then let me know she saw NOTHING but scar tissue. She made my day.
Tomorrow we are headed to Raleigh, NC, on our way to South Carolina. So next time you hear from me I will be writing from the Carolinas! A change of scenery is so needed since in one months time, I dealt with surgery and also had to rule out bladder cancer and breast cancer.
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