Tonight's picture was taken on July 29, 2008. Mattie had undergone a bone biopsy earlier in the week and it was time for his big bandage to come off. Mattie did not like the sensation of tape being removed from his skin. In many ways, the motion to remove a bandaged triggered volatile reactions. Mattie did not want me near his arm or the bandage and so you can see him gingerly trying to remove it himself. Over time, as Mattie became more fragile and also more exhausted from chemotherapy, we took over and managed weekly bandage changing and cleaning of his broviac (the catheter in his chest that connected to a major blood vessel in the heart). Every aspect of cancer care required the impossible and the extraordinary from all three of us.
Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.
- number of people diagnosed with the virus: 4,276,856
- number of people who died from the virus: 147,303
I received a newsletter from the Evermore Foundation today. I know the founder, as she is a bereaved mom, whose daughter died at the same hospital as Mattie. We actually served on a hospital grand round presentation together after our children died. Like me, she created a non-profit. Her non-profit is dedicated to making the world a more livable place for bereaved people and families. Where all families and professionals have access to care, programs, tools and resources to cope and adapt to loss.
The newsletter came with this link. The link took me to a document entitled, Bereavement Facts and Figures. I encourage you to check it out, because it is noteworthy! The facts that caught my attention were:
- The prevalence and incidence of bereavement is high due to the “multiplier effect,” meaning for every one death multiple individuals are impacted.
- Family survivors are now themselves at risk of poor physical health outcomes, premature death, and other adverse consequences that can alter the life course.
- Parents who lose a child at any age are at risk of premature death as early as age 40, with mothers dying from unnatural causes in the first three years and natural causes 10-18 years later.
- Bereaved parents are more likely to suffer cardiac events, immune dysfunction, depressive symptoms, poorer well-being, less purpose in life, more health complications, marital disruption, psychiatric hospitalization, cancer incidence, and premature death as early as age 40.
- Parents who lose a child before age 40 are at greater risk of developing dementia when compared non-bereaved parents.
Shedding light on the bereaved and the long term consequences of grief is not only necessary but crucial to the health and well-being of our society. Grief is one of those things that truly isn't discussed or adequately addressed and supported in our world. Yet the loss of a loved one has psychological and health consequences for those left behind. Grief isn't just an issue the first year after a death, instead I have learned from personal experience that it is a lifelong journey.
"Speaking Grief" Full Length Documentary Trailer (3 minutes):
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