Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2003, during Mattie's first birthday party! Mattie was IN LOVE with the Sesame Street character, Elmo. So naturally I chose to have an Elmo themed party. We only had family and a couple of close friends at the party. Mattie was thoroughly overwhelmed and we spent a lot of time upstairs that year. Nonetheless, I snapped this photo in the morning, before the party began, and Mattie was enjoying zooming around the first floor in his tot wheels.
Quote of the day: Strength of mind is exercise, not rest. ~ Alexander Pope
Last week, when I went to the salon in Washington, DC to get my nails done, I saw my manicurist who I have known for over 13 years. I met her soon after Mattie died. After Mattie died, I went to get my nails done every two weeks. I never did that before, but it was a way to get out of my home and re-engaging with the world. I assure you it took great effort to leave my home after Mattie died, but I developed a routine and my nails became part of that routine. Needless to say, after seeing someone every two weeks for 13 years, we got to know each other well.
Now that my parents live with me, I rarely get my nails done (last time was November) and I haven't cut my hair in about a year. In any case, my manicurist now works with my mom on a regular basis, as I try to regularly drop my mom off for her hair and nails. Last week, however, we both went to the salon and the manicurist commented to my mom that I am a very strong woman, but also a patient, calm, and understanding person. She asked why my mom was so different from me! I absolutely laughed, as I think it is fascinating what people observe.
Today, after I walked Sunny (who is still urinating blood), I took my parents out to lunch. I can do that this week, because Peter is traveling and therefore, there is no reason to cook dinner. While out at lunch, the dialogue at our table was beyond interesting. It's interesting because neither of my parents are in touch with reality... I am talking about the reality of their decline. On Friday of this week, I am finally going to get my haircut. Because I will be at the salon for a while, I need to figure out a plan for my mom. I tried to book her a massage, but that did not work out. My mom doesn't want to stay at home while I am at the salon, so this complicates things. She can't really take her car out to the mall, because the last time she did that she got lost and never got to the mall. I can't put her in an uber or car service, because she never checks her phone. A driver would NEVER be able to coordinate with her. So really the only way is to take her places myself.
In any case, at lunch, my mom and dad start talking and they concluded that they will go to the mall together on Friday while I am getting my hair cut and conditioned. Hysterical! My dad goes to his memory care program on Fridays, which I told him several times while talking, so he is definitely NOT going to the mall! But before I could express this reality, my mom said to my dad that he could go, sit and wait while she shops! Even read a book while he waits! Are you kidding??? My dad can't just sit and wait, nor can he read anymore! Those days may have worked in 2018, but NO WAY NOW. He needs constant supervision and would be a victim sitting unattended in a mall. He can't stay awake and God help us if he has to go to the bathroom and one of us isn't there. I let this conversation go for about two minutes, and then I lost it. I think I am losing my mind because this kind of confusion happens on an hourly basis. The first or second time of explaining this I can manage, but day in and day out of this is impossible. Some days I feel like I am losing it or will have a breakdown. I don't know if my mom refuses to see my dad's decline, can't accept his decline, or is declining along side him.
Meanwhile, I am happy to report I have had no reaction to Prolia. Thankfully because I can't possibly manage one more thing!
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