Saturday, July 30, 2022

Saturday, July 30, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2009, before we knew Mattie's diagnosis was terminal. At that moment in time, Mattie had completed chemotherapy and we were hoping to restabilize and rehabilitate him. For some reason we were under the delusion that Mattie would be able to return to school that Fall. Of course the Fall never came. 

Mattie actually liked doing chores with us and that day he helped us paint our deck at our townhouse in Washington, DC. Keeping busy and distracted were the key to surviving our day to day stresses and life and death fears. By looking at this photo, you can see just how emaciated Mattie became from treatment. 

Quote of the day: Alzheimer’s… it is a barren disease, as empty and lifeless as a desert. It is a thief of hearts and souls and memories. ~ Nicholas Sparks

This morning, after getting my dad up, washed, and dressed, I brought him downstairs and sat him at the breakfast table. Of course breakfast is on the table and of course he jumps into eating whether any of us are sitting there or not. He has lost any insight into social graces. My dad is very focused on food and when it's in front of him, all he can do is eat, and eat. He doesn't come up for air, and forget about conversing with him while eating. 

I made the mistake of leaving his daily log notebook next to him. While eating (ironically, as typically he doesn't focus on anything else) he grabbed a pen and by the time I sat down to eat breakfast (minutes later), he completed the entire day's log! Honestly I LOST IT. Despite constant explanations of the log and how to use it, he instead wants it completed and done with and will answer questions before the day or activity has ever happened. I keep reminding him that you can't provide answers and insights if things haven't occurred yet. 

One of my questions in his daily log is to list some things that happened during the morning. His response today to this was.... got washed and dressed! Again, I went back at him because his therapist and I have told him we don't want him listing things that he does everyday. No information about showering, dressing, eating breakfast, or toileting, unless something very different happened on that particular day. I sometimes feel like I am going to lose my mind and yet I know a minute later after talking with him, my dad will forget everything I just told him. It is beyond frustrating!

This afternoon, after going to the farmer's market, we then went to an open house. My mom loves touring homes and I am doing this to learn more about real estate and of course seeing if decorations speak to me and give me ideas. 

Peter came with us today (since the house was right down the block from us, we left my dad home, as every one of his needs was met, and we were only going to be a few minutes) and as soon as he and I entered the house, we noticed a butterfly theme. As you can see the heart over the door is made of butterflies and the art work is butterflies too. Also we kept seeing a photo of a young girl throughout the house. 

In the front hallway, there were more butterflies and what appeared to be a memory case of things. Frankly I have NO idea if anyone else touring this open house noticed this, I suspect not. I say this because most people do not enter a house and think..... child loss. Unfortunately our lens is ALWAYS that way. 

This cabinet is filled with butterfly china in orange. As you can imagine.... IT SPOKE TO ME. Typically I do not like the furnishing and decorations in many of the houses I tour. This one was very different. The house was stunning and the couple's taste was spot on with mine. 

They had an all season room and over the fireplace was a tribute photo to their daughter (who died in a car crash) and the picture was surrounded by butterflies. Honestly the house wasn't only stunning, but to me it was an amazing tribute to the love and legacy of their daughter. I was very impressed with this family's commitment to their daughter's memory. 

The family left their daughter's room untouched! This butterfly wreath was in her room. I truly believe all of this went over the heads of the average person touring today. But Peter and I missed nothing at all and absolutely understood the need to preserve her room and space. 

We were so taken aback by this beauty and tributes that we spoke to the realtor, who confirmed with us that the teenager died suddenly in an accident. Before we left the house, we told the agent to let the owners of the house know that their home was immaculate and beautiful and that we were deeply moved by their love for their daughter and there visual reminders and tributes to her in every room!