Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2009. As you can see it wasn't a very happy moment in time. Unfortunately Peter and I have many of these moments filed in the back of our minds. Sure it maybe 14 years ago, but some things are unforgettable. I would say seeing your child in pain, depressed, and sick 24/7 was very hard to take emotionally. Peter and I tried extremely hard to be positive and in control around Mattie. Which was needed as there were always various moving parts around us and we had to have it together, because we were constantly making life and death decisions in Mattie's care.... not just on a weekly or monthly basis, but in many cases, hourly.
Quote of the day: The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Gandhi's quote has always resonated with me. I would say that I feel most useful and alive, when I am helping others. Not just doing a task or a chore, but helping someone in a crisis or who is emotionally overwhelmed. Honestly since Mattie died, I view every issue through the lens of loss. If you evaluate any problem someone sets before you, I bet that you will find a hint of some kind of loss attached to it! Think about it!
Today was another ridiculous day of being up at 5:45am, balancing my parents needs, and juggling schedules and lots of driving. I took my mom to physical therapy today. We drove home and I thought we would have an hour before my dad was to come home. My thinking was that I could use that hour and catch up on emails and do some work. I was really looking forward to this hour of undisturbed time. FORGET IT, not in the cards for me.
When I walked into our house, we could hear Peter talking. At first I told my mom that Peter must be on a conference call. But as I kept listening, I realized the person he was talking to was talking back and I could hear her. So I began to walk around the house and indeed I found Peter and our lovely neighbor.
Our neighbor was having a bad day and reached out to Peter. I will spare you the details because this isn't my story to hear. But the point is, I sat down and listened to our neighbor and what I quickly realized is YES I am a mental health provider. I haven't lost that art form and skill. I can track multiple threads a person is talking about and I am good at trying to help slow down the conversation and process what is being said in order to stabilize how one is feeling. In reality we all need a sounding board, someone we can trust and confide in, without being judged. I am glad we could serve in that role today and since our neighbor moved in, we connect daily or weekly. Which for me is important, because I live a very socially isolated existence. She thinks we are helping her, but what she doesn't realize is she is HELPING us!
No comments:
Post a Comment