A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



May 28, 2023

Sunday, May 28, 2023

Sunday, May 28, 2023

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006. Mattie was thrilled to graduate from a toddler bed, to a full fledged regular twin bed. Mattie and I picked out sheets for his bed together and he selected the Bob the Builder theme! The frames for Mattie's bed were built by Peter's maternal grandfather. He constructed them for Peter's mom and sister when they were children. So these frames have sentimental value and Mattie liked knowing that he was the third generation to use these frames. 




Quote of the day: The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. ~ Leo Tolstoy


Today Peter attended our nephew, Will's graduation from Bates College. Peter drove up to Maine yesterday with his parents for this special occasion. I am glad that Peter could be there to represent us. 

How do I feel about not being able to go to Maine? Well I guess I have accepted the fact that I am going no where and will have no break in sight for the foreseeable future. Back in 2021, when my parents first moved in, I would have to say my adjustment was traumatic. Before my parents moved in, I thought my mom was higher functioning than she actually is. If my mom could help in some way with my dad's care, this could free me up to do things on occasion. But what I quickly learned within weeks of moving them in is that I did not have just one patient to care for, but TWO! Both of my parents have significant issues that require constant supervision and support. 

Peter snapped this photo today of the family while they were awaiting the graduation ceremony to take place. Sitting near to far are:

  • Nat (our nephew)
  • Sydney (our niece)
  • Don (Peter's dad)
  • Barbara (Peter's mom)
  • Lisa (our sister in law)
  • Chris (Peter's brother)

Left to right:

Sydney, Don, Will (the graduate), Barbara, and Nat

With Peter!
Peter sent me a photo of Mattie Moon in Boston! Mattie is always with us, when in doubt, we just look to the sky. Peter has attended all our nephews' and niece's graduations. Of course given the birth order, Mattie's graduation would be next year. Though we have been living with Mattie's death for 14 years now, milestone dates like a graduation, still are impossible for me to accept and wrap my head and heart around. 

The death of a Mattie has put me in a very unique club, and now adding full time caregiving in my home to parents with dementia, just once again reminds me...... I am different. My life is not like everyone else's and I continue to absorb a lot of sadness and loss on a daily basis. 
Posted by The Brown Family (DC) at 7:21 PM

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