Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2004. Mattie was two years old! That day, we went to visit Peter's maternal grandmother, who was in the hospital. Gladys, like me, loved food! So on our journey to Connecticut, I packed all sorts of goodies and a few of Mattie's train themed paper plates. Gladys had a wonderful spirit about her and she truly enjoyed meeting Mattie!
Quote of the day: When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on. ~ Theodore Roosevelt
Today did not go how I would have expected! Though I have learned in my house, having no expectations is just a safer plan. My dad's physical therapist came over this morning. Upon entering, she started discussing my dad's decline with me. Of course in her words.... she "doesn't see a decline." Which isn't surprising to me for two reasons. One, she sees my dad for only one hour in the morning (twice a week). The mornings are when my dad has the most energy. Second, my dad is more likely to comply with exercise requests from a stranger than he is with me. So other than me, my mom, and Peter, I am not sure anyone else is truly qualified to identify my dad's decline. I am with him all the time and I am his full-time caregiver. Therefore, I notice and experience everything.
To make a long story short, the therapist spoke to me for thirty minutes. Meaning she chewed up half of my dad's therapy time. I did not ask to converse with her, she just did. So I would have hoped she would have stayed longer to give my dad his full hour of exercise. What truly bothered me is this evening, the therapist sent me an email with "resources." For the fun of it, I clicked on each resource, as I want to keep an open mind. What people forget is that caregiving for older adults is my research area of interest and expertise. In addition, caregiving is NOT a new role for me.
Any case, back to the email of resources. One was a listing of caregivers in the Northern Virginia area that provides care for older adults within one's home. Though I will keep this list, I know all too well that if I should select home care, I would work with an agency, like we did in Los Angeles. There are many advantages and safeguards using an agency. The second resource link was to respite care in my area. So I clicked on it, and it discussed how the county will provide up to six hours A MONTH of respite care! That to me is hysterical! Fortunately my dad goes to a memory day care program, and if I took full advantage of it, he could go there 8 hours a day, five days a week.
The third and final link was to a tai chi class for my mom. I have discussed many classes and options with my mom and I have hit a brick wall each time. In addition, my mom can no longer do or go anywhere independently. I would need to go and participate with her. So in my opinion before making suggestions to a family caregiver, it would behoove one to first fully understand the situation, the family's preferences and to discuss what the family has already researched or is participating in!
I fully admit that I am NOT the easiest person to provide support and suggestions to, and in so many cases, I feel as if people do not understand the knowledge and insights I have on my parents and the fact that I have and continue to give great thought (which I do not always express) on how to manage their care.
Meanwhile, this afternoon we took my parents out for lunch. Another nightmare. This is the second time this week that while eating, I had to take my dad to the bathroom three times. It is simply infuriating as he insists he has to go to the bathroom, and then once he gets there, he doesn't go. My dad is absolutely fixated on the bathroom. Eating with my dad, whether at home or out, is a nightmare of grand proportion.
The new doctor we have seen this week, who I now refer to as Dr. Messy, increased the dosage on my dad's memory meds. I have noticed since this happened, my dad has developed constipation. Though I am not in love with his daily bouts of diarrhea, managing my dad with constipation is like living hell on earth. To tonight I am playing the laxative game in hopes that he goes, otherwise, Sunday will be a torturous day for all of us.
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