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Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006. I remember snapping this photo at Mattie's preschool playground. That day, Mattie was creating art with his friend Nancy. Ironically, while out with my parents today, we ran into my friend Jane and her family having lunch. Jane is Nancy's mom, and I got to chat with Nancy, who will be graduating from college next year. It is so surreal to see Mattie's classmates as young adults and almost finished with college. To me, Mattie remains forever 7 and after talking with Nancy today, I wondered..... what would Mattie be like if he were alive today?
Quote of the day: Each one of us has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm, when we look at each other we must say, I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. We must support each other and empathize with each other because each of us is more alike than we are unalike. ~ Maya Angelou
I would love to have one morning when I do not feel rushed, stressed, and frenetic. This wasn't that kind of morning unfortunately. While balancing my dad, the door bell was ringing and chaos was unfolding before my eyes. However, I had to plow through it all because I had to get my parents to my dad's doctor appointment this morning. Some of you may know that I have referred to my parent's former primary care doctor as DOPEY! Trust me he lived up to the nickname. We had a meeting today with the doctor who has taken over DOPEY's practice! I honestly had high hopes for this new interaction and truly I am looking for a doctor who understands the challenges of working with patients who have Alzheimer's and the plight of the family caregiver. I am telling you this because I went into today's appointment with an OPEN mind.
When I walked into the office, the whole aesthetic or lack there of set me off. To me it was cramped, messy, and uninviting. The waiting area had a rug in it that looked like it needed to be set on fire. The waste paper basket in the waiting area was filled to the brim and the two women working behind the desk looked like it was there first day on the job. Not a good look for a practice that has been operational for twenty plus years.
The doctor took us on time, and allowed all of us into an exam room. He had no problem with family participation, which was good. However, there was something about this doctor that just did not resonate with me. It wasn't any one thing, but just a feeling. You know either you click with a person or you don't! The one major red flag, which I confronted him about, was that he has NO nurse, NO physician assistant, or staff (other than admin). He even takes patient's blood himself! I was so taken aback by this that I said... I hope you never get sick? I said this partly in humor and partly to be serious. Even the healthiest of people catch colds, get sick, and can't work! So what happens to patients in this case? Not sure I really got an answer, other than he told me he is 54 years old (mind you he looked much older) and responds to all patient concerns 24/7! Unless he is superman, I don't know how that is possible.
The doctor himself looked like a disheveled mess. He was wearing grey pants. Not hemmed and they did not fit him appropriately. Instead, he cuffed them up by hand at the bottom! His hair was a mess, his brown tie wasn't straight and did not match his outfit, and his shoes looked like they were falling apart. I remember reading research in graduate school about how patients judge their psychologist and physicians by their looks. Meaning the better put together the professional is, the more competent patients view them. I always made a mental note of this, but I try to judge people by my interactions with them, not so much on their looks. But in this case, I just couldn't get over his appearance and the state of his office. My conclusion is how you put yourself together and the way your office looks gives me some insight into him as a person. Detail oriented, cleanliness, and having a state of the art facility, are important qualities for me when picking a doctor (of course I value education, training, experience, and patient reviews too). Which leads me to question, how competent will this doctor actually be?
Peter has a physical with this doctor next week, and I will be curious to hear his perspective. If Peter feels the same way I do, I will then be looking for a new practice to take my parents to because I believe having the right match with your primary care provider is crucial. On an aside, the doctor gave my dad a cognitive test for dementia while in the appointment. Honestly these tests make me NUTS! NUTS I TELL YOU! My dad may know it is 2023, that he is in the state of Virginia, and that it is warm outside. But what about his functional memory, his ability to perform tasks and live independently! My dad can't tell you whether he just ate a minute ago, he has no idea how to dress himself, he can't hold a conversation, and the list goes on. Yet the doctor gave him an 18/20 on the test and viewed him as doing well! Really? Maybe he should take my dad for a few hours and then I bet this would alter his impression of my dad right away.
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