Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2003. Mattie was a year and a half old. While visiting Peter's parents in Boston, we also went over to my cousin Donna's house for dinner. Donna was Mattie's Godmother. When I was growing up, I felt very connected to Donna and her sister, Rosalinda. Which was why, I was thrilled Donna could serve this important role in Mattie's life. I absolutely loved that big Mattie smile! It is something I will never forget.
Quote of the day: They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies. ~ William Penn
This afternoon, I took my parents to the dentist in the city. I have been going to this dentist office since I was in my 20s! So a long time indeed. I like this office because they use evidence based, state of the art care. However now that I live outside the Capital Beltway, it literally takes me an hour to commute each way to go to the dentist. Why? Because I have to drive there, park, and walk my parents to the office. Nothing about traveling in the city is easy with 80+ year olds.
My hygienist's name is Annie. I absolutely LOVE her. She knows that I am a full time caregiver and balance a great deal of stress. Today she greeted us in the waiting area and said that she found another hygienist that could work with one of my parents, so that instead of one parent going followed by the other, both of my parents could get treated at the same time! I thought that was a very generous and thoughtful offer. I let my mom have her appointment with Annie and I accompanied my dad back with Alisa. I had never met Alisa before, but within minutes, I knew we would get along splendidly.
Getting my dad in a dentist chair is no easy feat. He needs pillows behind his neck and legs. I also have to lift his legs onto the dentist chair. In any case, what I learned today is that dental hygienists are a bit like a bartenders. In that they can size up and read people very quickly. I am telling you within minutes Alisa figured me out! She basically gave me a read out of myself, without having to say very much. Alisa said that I strike her as a person who gives much more to others than receives, that I am a born caregiver, and that my parents are doing as well as they are because of my attentive, loving, and around the clock care. I am telling you I wasn't looking for compliments or feedback, but I must say given all that I am dealing with now, hearing loving comments about me and my role was like the best Christmas present someone could have given me. I will never forget Alisa and today's conversation.
Alisa wanted to know how I learned to be a caregiver. I told her I come from a long line of family caregivers and have also had lots of personal experience. I spared her the story of Mattie. I will leave that for next time. But I received an A+ today on my dad's dental care, as the office knows I am the one who brushes and flosses my dad's teeth.
After my dad's appointment, we went out into the waiting area. My mom was waiting for us and was talking to a fellow patient. It turns out that this patient also commended me and said he wished he had a daughter in his life who cared for him as half as well as I do for my parents (this patient watched me bring my parents into the office and prepped them for their appointments). As I always say, I am amazed by what people absorb and observe. I know when I took my parents on cruises, by the end of each cruise, passengers would approach me and say.... we have observe you the entire cruise and we are so impressed with the care you provide your parents. Mind you I wasn't looking for kudos and I certainly wasn't aware that people were watching me.
Being a full time caregiver is not an easy role, but I do think it is one of the most important roles I have taken on in my life. Whether it has been for my grandmother, Mattie, or my parents. It maybe why I was placed on this earth. It is my purpose and I do think the skills I have acquired over all these years could help me create a caregiving assistance company of my own.
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