Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2006. Mattie was three years old and I snapped this photo of him on this adorable duck. This duck belonged to Peter and his brother. So basically this duck received a lot of love and use over the generations. This duck now sits in my office, with so many of my other Mattie legacy items. What a smile.... he lit up a room!
Quote of the day: The only things you learn are the things you tame. ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Though my plan was to write about a totally different topic, the topic of persistence popped into my head. Why? Because tonight I met my match with my Dyson cordless vacuum. Funny, and yet NOT funny! Peter bought me this vacuum pretty soon after we moved into the house. So literally I have only had it for three years. Yet its battery has been failing, no matter how much I charge this thing, I can not vacuum for more than 2-3 minutes at a time. Last week, I got on line and started chatting with a Dyson service representative. He confirmed that the battery was going and I needed to purchase a new one. I debated.... do I buy a whole new machine or a new battery? After looking at the cost of the machine, I elected to replace the battery and hopefully that will solve my problem. The company sent me a video on how to change the battery and told me if I wasn't happy, I could return the battery without a problem. Also if you don't know me by now, let me clue you in.... I get attached to things. Especially things that are tied to people I love. Since Peter gave me this vacuum, a part of me can't part with it.
So the replacement battery arrived today! I watched the how to video and the whole thing looked super easy. They even give you an Allen wrench and replacement screws! There were three screws to remove to get the old battery off the vacuum. Want to know how long this took me???? Try two hours. I was able to get two of the screws off the machine, but the third one was my nemesis. I was so frustrated that I was literally going to throw the whole vacuum out the window. But I took a deep breath and tried to solve the problem. I used WD 40 to try to loosen the screw and then I proceeded to try a screw driver and then because I was at my wit's end, I went to the basement and pulled out Peter's cordless drill. Mind you I have never used this thing before. So I first had to figure that out! Success! I figured it out and I now know how it works. Whenever I have to unscrew anything in the house, NO LONGER will I do it by hand, I am using this gadget.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get this screw loose. So at which point, I realized I needed help. Naturally my first instinct is to call Peter. It is hard to break a 35 year pattern. I did not do that, which I suppose is progress on my part. Not normal progress and not progress I am happy about, but nonetheless progress. I couldn't call a friend, because most of them are too far away. Instead, I text messaged my next door neighbor. I told him the problem and he and his wife invited me over, and I brought my vacuum in tow. Besides getting the help that I needed, I was surrounded by a lovely family and got to hear normal every day conversation, and to be included and respected.
My neighbor and his daughter worked on my machine and within minutes, they got the screw loose, and then they replaced my old battery with the new one that came in the mail. The moral of tonight's story is it pays to have persistence and to also have the courage to reach out to others when I need help. My divorce has left me alone to manage the impossible. For the most part, I try to solve issues myself, because I have vowed never to be reliant on anyone else again! But there are times, when I don't have the physical strength to do certain things, and I am cognizant of my limitations.
What I do know is if Mattie were alive, he would be my go to person. Mattie understood the mechanics of things from age two. I always marveled how he would go to our kitchen drawer, pull out a screw driver and disassemble his toys. Literally he could take his toys apart and put them back together. Who does this at age 2? Mattie! It is no wonder that I called him my "little engineer." With each developmental stage of my life, the loss of Mattie changes and other issues arise. When I was younger, the notion of not having the day to day mothering tasks was crushing. Now, I am more focused on my own aging and the loss of Mattie reverberates in my mind on a daily basis, especially as I am the full time caregiver to my parents. If Mattie were alive, I have NO DOUBT, he would be helping me both physically and emotionally, because we had that kind of special connection. A connection that will always be missed, even when I reflect on changing the battery of a cordless vacuum.
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