Tonight's picture was taken on Halloween of 2005. I had no idea this experience was my preparation for a long road of hospitalizations ahead of me. In October of 2005, Mattie developed a raging fever, intense vomiting, and was severely dehydrated. I had taken him to see his pediatrician the day before who assured me he was fine. Clearly however, I followed my better instinct, and when I did not like how things were going, Peter and I took Mattie to the emergency room. Luckily we did because at that point he was becoming septic. It turns out that Mattie had an untreated ear infection, and the infection got out of control. When the pediatrician visited me in the hospital the next day, she assured me he did not have an ear infection the day before. At that point, I made my point to this doctor, and told her that when I say Mattie is sick, he is sick. She learned her lesson with me after that point. Needless to say, Mattie spent his first preschool Halloween in the hospital. It is a hospitalization I will never forget, because Mattie was NOT on a pediatric floor, and the doctors and nurses had absolutely NO skills working with a three year old!
Poem of the day: Surroundings by Charlie Brown
My home is filled
With thoughts of you
Your clothes, your toys
Your artwork too
I cannot pack
Them up you see
I need to have them
Close to me
How can I put
Your things away
And admit you're gone
Forever, no way!
And yet they scream
The loss of you
I avoid them now
What can I do?
So here I'm stuck
In my pain
Surrounded by an
Emotional drain
Maybe soon I can
Find a way
Through this impasse
It's hard to say
There's no moving on
But maybe moving through
With the help of the Lord
And the spirit that was you.
As my readers know quite well, tomorrow is the Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation's first annual Pediatric Cancer Walk. Volunteers are working very hard to help us in every possible way, and the logistics team, headed by our friends, Tamra and Liza, met today for a final discussion of the plan. I would say we are in very good shape, and our registration numbers are in line with the amazing turn out we received last year, during the March for a Mattie Miracle. I only ask that you all HOPE for SUN!
Peter went to the airport this afternoon and picked up Sean Swarner, our featured speaker. I look forward to meeting Sean tomorrow, and I was so impressed with his desire to want to help us with set up and clean up at the Walk. I felt that type of commitment said something about his character and his passion behind our cause.
My parents, Karen, and I ran around doing last minute Walk tasks today. It was a full day, and at the moment as I am typing this Peter and Karen are loading things into Peter's car so that we can be ready to roll out the door at 7:30am. We have an 8am interview with Fox 5, and we are very grateful to this TV station for their interest in our story and our event. Peter and I look forward to seeing many of you at the Walk. Our goal is to try to talk to as many of our attendees as possible, because we want you personally to know how much your support means to us.
I would like to end tonight's posting with a message from my friend, Charlie. Charlie wrote, "I hope this interview with Fox 5 News brings much deserved attention to the Foundation and the cause of childhood cancer. As you've so eloquently stated many times, we really have failed to make much headway in the past twenty years and it is well overdue. May the attention bring an overwhelming positive response to what you are trying to accomplish. I really appreciated hearing your mother's story about your grandmother and her losses. I've often felt that if we live on in some way, if our souls remain after our physical selves are gone, it makes sense that we would have difficulty taking part in the next life if the people we love are always tied to us with sad thoughts and unable to fully take part in this life. As we've grown in "sophistication" we've lost a lot, the ability to believe, to openly show grief and then to "know" that we will be with those we love again someday. Therefore we are "stuck" in this in-between place, without enough faith to carry us through those situations where science has no answers. When I practice today and I will send you the energy to help you find the strength to keep looking for the path that will lead you forward in a meaningful way. I hold you gently in my thoughts."
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