This picture was taken last year at the March for a Mattie Miracle. Mattie had the chance to talk to every baseball player on his school's team, and wish them luck before they headed to play a big game. I was told later by Coach Holm, that Mattie brought the team luck, because they won the game. That made Mattie very happy to hear! I am not sure whether these high school students reflect back on May 9, 2009 and their meeting with Mattie. But they should know that their greeting meant a lot to Mattie, Peter, and I.
Poem of the day: To Lose A Child by Susan Tawil
Tears without end
Days without nights
Night without day
Time without forgetting.
Food without taste
Sleep without rest
Sorrow without comfort.
Pain without limit
Emptiness without bottom
Life without.
It is another Tuesday behind us. This week marks the beginning of the 35th week Mattie has been gone from our lives. Tonight's poem says it all.... "life without." Once you lose a child it is impossible to see life without sorrow, pain, and emptiness.
Is is 2am, and I am just sitting down now to write the blog. Therefore because I am quite tired, I will be making this a short blog. It was a busy day of Walk related issues. This evening, I went to Ann's house for dinner and then had the opportunity to join Carolyn, Mary, and Catherine to wrap raffle baskets and items. Carolyn is a RCC parent and our friend, and she has done an outstanding job coordinating the raffle, and also securing such wonderful items. There are 8 items in the raffle: 1) Annapolis Sailing Excursion, 2) Washington National Tickets, 3) Summer Fun Basket, 4) Professional Portrait Package, 5) Around Town Gift Basket, 6) Let the Sun Shine in Basket, 7) Pamper me Package, and 8) Washington Capitals Fan pack. Ann took pictures of these baskets, which I hope to share with you tomorrow. They look as lovely as they sound. Ann's daughter Abigail sat down on the floor with me, and helped wrap at least two raffle baskets. She was quite a good helper, has an eye for color, and got into the spirit of the evening.
Today was a day of various insights to me. Tonight, as I sat with several preschool moms wrapping raffle items, I realize while they were talking about their children, it did not bother me as much as it usually does. Part of this could be because I am just tired, and don't have much emotional energy to spare, but I also think it is because these moms and I survived the preschool years together. Mattie's preschool was a co-operative. So parents played an active role within the classroom and the school in general. Resurrection Children's Center became our community, and spending time with children inside the classroom enabled me to understand their likes, dislikes, and in essence to form a special bond with some of the children. It is almost hard to believe that we all started off in the same classroom, but my little one no longer exists.
The insight I had from this raffle wrapping party was that here are a group of women giving up their evening to wrap gifts for the Foundation. They are NOT doing it for recognition, they are not doing it for praise. They are sincerely doing it because they remember Mattie and support Peter and I. It is very wonderful to be surrounded by this honesty and genuineness. As of tomorrow we are approaching a five day count down to the Walk. We can't thank all our volunteers enough for their amazing efforts, and of course we can't thank you all enough for registering for the Walk and attending on Sunday.
I would like to end tonight's posting with two messages. The first message is from Mattie's oncologist and our friend, Kristen. Kristen wrote, "Thinking of you this Tuesday and everyday. I wish I could be at the walk this weekend... I will be thinking of you."
The second message is from my friend, Charlie. Charlie wrote, "It is another Tuesday. Today it almost seems the sky is crying. For me it helps to keep in mind that to grow as our flowers and plants do is to require the right balance of both rain and sun. Too much of either brings disaster. As you continue to work on the walk and all the tasks that are required for it, try to find some balance in your time; spend some time in self care, in doing something kind and solely for yourself. I agree with Margaret that Mattie's cancer had a huge impact on the community but it is by dint of your unceasing advocacy that it has not become part of the past but rather remained in the forefront of people's awareness. I am sure the walk will be successful in helping to continue that process. I hold you gently in my thoughts."
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