Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2002. Mattie was 8 months old, and was fascinated by our first snow. When we opened our front door, he basically charged the door with his walker (or as we affectionately called it tot wheels) to get outside. As you can see from his look, before venturing out, he turned back around to check with us to see how we would react to his desire to go outside. Mattie, right from day one, was a boy on a mission. He was a logical thinker, he was persistent, and he also had a way of capturing your attention and getting you interested in whatever he was doing.
Quote of the day: Every action of our lives touches a chord that vibrates in Eternity. ~ Edwin Hubbel Chapin
This morning, I woke up to a lovely e-mail from Laura. As some of my readers may recall, Laura was living in England and is studying to be a pilot. She is a daily blog reader, and as her message this morning let me know, she has recently moved to New Zealand to continue her flight training. In a way, I would love to know just how far geographically Mattie's blog is traveling. Laura wrote this today, "I took (what I'd hoped would be) a gorgeous picture of a Mattie moon last week with the intention of sending it to you. Unfortunately, I was PRETTY busy also trying to fly at the time so it smudged. Anyway, the thought was there." I am not sure about my readers, but when I look at this picture, I do not see any imperfections or smudged picture. I see a beautiful Mattie Moon over the skies of New Zealand!
I simply love this picture and I admire Laura's ability to fly a plane and take a picture of Mattie Moon all at the same time. The funny part about this is I try to put myself in Laura's position, and the whole idea makes me laugh. I am such a nervous wreck flying that the whole notion of snapping a picture at the same time as flying a plane would be impossible task for me. Nonetheless, I look at this picture and it seems so peaceful and very meaningful. Regardless of the continent, Mattie illuminates the night sky. He was and continues to be a powerful force in our lives, and somehow this picture was a beautiful way to wake up because it was a sign from nature (and Laura!) that reminded me Mattie is still out there.
This morning I received a phone call from Mattie's oncologist and my friend, Kristen. I am meeting Kristen tomorrow at a Food and Drug Administration meeting. This is a meeting of the Pediatric Oncology Subcommittee on Oncologic Drugs Advisory Committee. The subcommittee will hear about pediatric development plans for four products that were either recently approved by the FDA or are in late stage development for an adult oncology indication. Based on the information presented, the subcommittee will consider and discuss issues relating to the development of each product for pediatric use and provide guidance to facilitate the formulation of written requests for pediatric studies, if appropriate. The four products under consideration are: 1) crizotinib, manufactured by Pfizer, Inc., 2) pralatrexate, manufactured by Allos Therapeutics, 3) denosumub, manufactured by Amgen, Inc., and 4) eribulin, manufactured by Eisai, Inc. This meeting starts at 8am and runs until 5:30pm. I am not sure how long I will stay to listen to these proceedings, but I will give you an update tomorrow. The ironic part about all of this is these meetings are open to the public, but I most certainly wouldn't have known about this unless Kristen informed me. Members from the public are also allowed to speak, and I am curious to hear what will be presented tomorrow.
I spent a good portion of the day today with Ann. Mattie's school was still on Thanksgiving break so Ann's children were home as well. My ten year old friend, Katharina, was also visiting, and we spent time chatting this afternoon. When Tanja came to pick Katharina up after work, the three of us sat down and had hot tea together. I recall quite well the days when I was a mom, juggling work and Mattie. Some days I did not know if I was coming or going. Being a mom is a wonderful and important role, but it is also an all consuming role. Somehow when becoming a full time parent, it is easy to lose one's self in the process, and not take time for one's self. So when Tanja came in today, instead of her picking up Katharina and leaving, I asked her if she wanted to stay for tea. A forced break at times is very necessary for moms, and I was happy I could create such a break. It seems to me that life is truly about making time for these breaks and these connections. Our daily tasks and schedules are naturally vital for us to perform, but my hunch is NONE of us at the end of the day looks upon these tasks with fondness, as we do of our connections with others. We do tasks because we have to, whereas we take breaks and connect with our friends because we want to. It gives us purpose, meaning, and helps us regain our inner strength. Needless to say, I gained great perspective from this little "break," a gift which I wasn't expecting today.
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