Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2008. A month before Mattie was diagnosed with cancer. As you can see, Charlotte was hugging Mattie. Mattie described Charlotte as his "girlfriend." On that particular day, Ellen (Charlotte's mom) and I took the kids on a boat which was pulled by mules on the C & O canal in Georgetown. The kids enjoyed going through the water locks and spending time with each other. It is simply hard to believe that a month later we would hear that Mattie had cancer when he looks so happy and healthy here.
Quote of the day: In times of grief and sorrow I will hold you and rock you and take your grief and make it my own. When you cry I cry and when you hurt I hurt. And together we will try to hold back the floods to tears and despair and make it through the potholed street of life. ~ Nicholas Sparks
Nicholas Sparks' quote caught my attention. Not only because I have read each of his books, but because in so many ways, Mattie and I shared this special kind of bond and relationship. Though he was a child and I am an adult, we were there for each other and we supported each other in our own ways. Mattie's death is a loss of great magnitude. I lost my son, a huge part of myself, and now am forced to live a future that has no definition or understanding. I, for one, can't forget the cancer treatments, the pain Mattie suffered, or his death. This will always be a part of my present and future. A future that is quite unlike what most people face.
Peter and I got on the road early today and we made it to the beach by 1pm. We had a nice lunch together and then headed to Ellen's house. Ellen, her family, and some of their friends are at the house for the memorial day weekend. Yesterday, Charlotte told her friends about us and about Mattie. As Ellen was relaying this message to me, she wanted me to know that Mattie is a part of Charlotte's life and she doesn't forget him. She informed her friends about cancer, particularly referring to Mattie's "bone bugs" and cells growing out of control. She also told them how brave Mattie was as he battled this disease. I think it is very meaningful when children try to educate other children about something they have experienced personally.
I feel thoroughly exhausted tonight. So I am signing off, but as always I thank you for visiting Mattie's blog and for staying connected to us.
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