Saturday, October 1, 2011

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2005. As we were touring around the garden we were visiting, Mattie spotted a fountain filled with plants and fish. He climbed right on top of the fountain's ledge and began pointing out all the things he was seeing. This was NOT an unusual occurrence for Mattie. Mattie was the master of observation, was curious, and had a way of inspiring you to be curious too.

Quote of the day: One cannot be deeply responsive to the world without being saddened very often. ~ Erich Fromm


As promised, the question of the day is....................................................
Have you voted for Tricia (Mattie's nurse) today?
(Remember you can vote ONCE every 24 hours!!!)

For more information about the Johnson and Johnson Amazing Nurse Contest, please read my September 28, 2011 blog posting. Your daily vote is important and will bring Tricia closer to becoming a finalist.
Click on this link to vote for Patricia Grusholt: http://wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/157336/voteable_entries

Today's weather was a thorough shock to the system. On Friday it was in the 70's and today it was in the 50's and raining. Last year, I went to an outdoor fair called Art on the Avenue in Del Ray, VA and enjoyed it very much. It is a wonderful arts and crafts fair that is fun to walk and browse through especially when it is a lovely weather day. I was looking forward to going to Art on the Avenue today and introducing Peter to it, but the weather was awful. Despite the mizzling rain, people showed up to the fair by the boat loads and really did not seem to be bothered by the weather. I on the other hand looked like I was ready for the Arctic. I had a jacket, scarf, and gloves on, and even with all those things, after an hour, I was frozen solid. So we did not stay long.

I have developed a head cold this week, so I came home and rested while Peter went for a walk on Roosevelt Island. From his journey, he brought me back three leaves. This is something Mattie would have done on a Fall walk, and so when Peter presented me this gift, I knew what the underlying intention was. Also three is a special number to us, because Mattie collected things in three's.... there would be one leaf for Peter, one for Mattie, and one for me.

If Mattie were alive today, he would be in the fourth grade just like the rest of his friends. It is funny how that works out. Mattie dies, our world stops, and yet for others the world continues on and children still have play dates, parents still are planning parties, and things seem to return to normalcy for others around us. Naturally that is my perception, and I do of course know that some families are still deeply affected by Mattie's death. Nonetheless, I am aware of the fact that the fourth grade parents from Mattie's school are gathering tonight for a party. A party we most likely would have gone to if Mattie were still alive. It is a very strange feeling to know such a party is occurring and we no longer fit in. Actually it is a sobering reality, which brings me back to the point that losing a child is a life altering reality. A reality which I can try to keep describing, but not one you can possibly understand if you aren't living it. It is hard enough to lose your child, but when you lose the things and people that used to occupy your world, it makes daily existence extremely challenging.