Friday, October 12, 2012Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. Mattie was in the Child Life Playroom at the Hospital, and the scene you see in front of Mattie was created by him and his big buddy Brandon. Mattie used a piece of paper, painted in water blue, built a bridge out of popsicle sticks and model magic, and then lined toy cars up to go over the bridge. He and Brandon designed water creatures for the ocean. You can see the brown skate near Mattie's left hand. I also recall Mattie designed a wonderful shark made out of model magic as well as a creature which I called, the googly eyed blob. This googly eyed fellow is still with us today and can be found in Mattie's room.
Quote of the day: Be faithful to that which exists within yourself. ~ Andre Gide
Every second Friday of the month, I have my licensure board meetings. Today's meeting seemed like a marathon! The meeting went on for about six hours, which isn't surprising when you consider we deal with licensure applications to become a professional counselor in DC, we host a public forum, we are in the process of creating regulations for a new license we are developing, and then we have to process a host of ethical violations. Any one of these tasks is enough, but in total it can get overwhelming. We work straight and by the end of the meeting my head was spinning and pounding at the same time.
I learned while I was away in Cape Cod that our licensure board's executive director is retiring at the end of this month. This woman and I have worked together for about 10 years, and in many ways I feel like we have grown together. As I told her today, her retiring is a loss to us professionally, but it is also a big loss for me personally. This is a person I respect and have enjoyed working with, and I honestly feel that we have accomplished great things in the last decade for the profession. We are able to do this in part because we work so well together, and this type of teamwork is not replaceable.
Mattie's death has changed me. Things I once did professionally NO longer interest me. But the licensure board is different. It is different because of the camaraderie I have felt with the executive director. She was very supportive of me while Mattie was battling cancer, and I know it would have been much easier for the board to remove me from my chair position, but they did not. Mind you I did not attend a solitary board meeting during Mattie's battle, nor did I the year following Mattie's death. Somehow that did not matter, when I was ready to come back, I was welcomed and treated with great respect.
In fact, the executive director and I spoke about my leadership style today after the meeting. The licensure board is one of several non-profits I have had the opportunity to lead in my career history. For this particular board I am given a gavel to run the meetings, I have to speak into a microphone to be recorded, and the list goes on. Yet my board knows I NEVER use the gavel, and I for the most part do not believe in a hierarchy. I value each person's perspective and insight and try to give each person a certain level of autonomy. As tonight's quote points out..... I always try to be "faithful to that which exists within" myself. Yet with that said my board knows, when I have to, I can quickly take the reins and there are many examples during my decade of service that show I can be a force that you don't want to reckon with.
This evening, I met up with Ann's aunt and together we went to visit Mary (Ann's mom) in her assisted living facility. Mary was alert but mute. This is a state I have gotten used to, but one that I don't like. It is hard to see someone you care about drifting away, or in Mary's case trapped within her own body. I certainly miss my friend talking but thankfully I feel that the intense times I spent with Mary while her husband was dying has enable me to now understand a great deal of her feelings just by watching her eyes. They say the eyes are the window to one's soul, this is most certainly true in Mary's eyes.
I would like to end with a beautiful story that was shared with me by my friends Karen and Charlie. It is entitled, Marine helps a young boy finish a triathlon
http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-854041?hpt=hp_c3. Ben is an 11 year old osteosarcoma survivor and during a triathlon his prosthetic leg came loose and he was unable to run and finish the race. Despite this mechanical issue, Ben did finish the race with the assistance of a marine, PFC Matthew Morgan. This marine saw Ben struggling as he was running and clearly Matthew embodies the philosophy of "leaving no one behind," even when he isn't on the battle field or on duty. This principle instead guides his life and illustrates what wonderful results and outcomes can get accomplished when we work together and help our fellow human beings.
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