Friday, January 18, 2013Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2005. Mattie was three years old and on a weekend adventure with us to the DC Aquatic Gardens. You can't tell what we were staring at but in one of the ponds was a beautiful Great Blue Heron and this caught our attention immediately.
Quote of the day: It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions that seem irremediable become relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard. ~ Carl Rogers
My friend Charlie sent me this quote today, and when I read it I LOVED IT! No surprise since I am a big Carl Rogers fan. Rogers was the founder of humanistic psychology in this country and though his theories to some seem flaky and not great for short term therapy, I highly disagree. The cornerstone of any solid and healthy human interaction, whether in a friendship or a professional relationship, is the ability to LISTEN. Hearing what someone is actually saying is a therapeutic gift in and of itself. I am not simply talking about hearing the words! I am talking about reading between the lines and understanding what the feelings, worries, concerns, and fears are between the words. In fact, I can tell immediately who is a good listener by how they respond to an email or text message. In many ways the written word is much easier to interpret at times than the spoke word. The words are staring you right in the face. But the question is which of your friends and family members will read the words and not just take them at face value? Which ones will dig deeper, ask questions, and try to understand in more detail? These are the people in my opinion who are GOOD listeners. A good listener is NOT about having time on your hands. That is an excuse people give for NOT listening. Time doesn't make one a good listener. The motivation must come from within! The joy of understanding what someone is trying to say and the care, interest, and concern you have for another person provides the ultimate drive to listen.
The beauty of talking with someone who gets you makes even the worst of problems seem more bearable. At the end of the day dealing with grief leads me right back to the same place I started. Yet when I talk with people who really listen to what I am saying, I do feel better. I deeply appreciate those who listen to me and I do try to live my life following Carl Rogers' basic yet human principles.
This afternoon, I had the opportunity to have lunch with my friend and colleague Denise, and her daughter Marisa. Marisa is the young lady who runs our Foundation bake sale every May at our Foundation Walks. Marisa is a senior in college and I was happy I could see her before she returns for her last semester. Marisa had some wonderful ideas for me to consider for this year's Walk and I appreciate all her efforts she made to help us while Mattie was alive and now certainly her thoughtfulness in his memory.
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