Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2006. We took Mattie to Florida for the Christmas holiday season that year. By this point Mattie LOVED the sand (prior to preschool Mattie disliked sand intensely). He loved to build and create and could spend hours doing this with us. Peter and Mattie built many elaborate sand castles on that trip, so much so that other kids on the beach came over to join them. Literally the castles were so big that you could step into them. No castle was ever completely done until Mattie and I decorated them. We would collect seaweed, shells, and rocks along the shoreline and put the finishing touches on each creation.
Quote of the day: Happiness consists not of having, but of being; not of possessing, but of enjoying. It is a warm glow of the heart at peace with itself. A martyr at the stake may have happiness that a king on his throne might envy. Man is the creator of his own happiness. It is the aroma of life, lived in harmony with high ideals. For what a man has he may be dependent upon others; what he is rests with him alone. ~ David O. McKay
Tonight's quote intrigues me and troubles me all at the same time. I certainly understand the notion that HAVING doesn't necessarily make someone happy. Specifically when the "having" here refers to money and wealth. Looking at happiness from this kind of black and white thinking, then I would agree happiness is better achieved perhaps through being and looking within one's self. The quote implies that true happiness is created by ourselves for ourselves. That others can't create it for us. Again, I get what this is saying in a very existential way, yet at the same time I disagree with this quote on many levels.
First of which is life gives us things, unexpected problems and tragedies that we must contend with. This may mean looking inside ourselves for solutions and strength but ultimately what this shows us is that we are NOT truly involved in directing our own happiness. Things happen to us, things that people say we grow from, but as I always say, I would prefer to grow less.
McKay says that "happiness consists of not having, but of being." Again I go back to what does HAVING mean?! I could argue that one's child remaining alive and healthy is having, and if that is the case, then happiness most definitely consists of HAVING!!! In fact, not having one's child around can lead to enormous discontent and unhappiness. Making it next to impossible to "live in harmony with one's ideals."
The second part of this quote I also take issue with because at the end of the day we are human beings, and our common thread is that we are social creatures. We rely on others and may even be dependent upon them at times. Certainly other people do not control our happiness, but I would have to say having social support in one's life makes a great deal of difference especially when grieving. Taking it one step further, I think when intensely grieving we sometimes invest ourselves in the lives of certain people around us in hopes of not necessarily living their lives, but instead reconnecting with the living and trying to find a way back into the world. A world that no longer makes sense.
I don't know about you, but I have to say that some of my more happier times in life revolved around my connections with others, sharing special moments and memories, and it is through those meaningful bonds I create my own happiness.
Out of the blue today I reconnected with a former student of mine after many years. This fellow is a very successful professional association leader and we used to have many opportunities to work together in the past. He reached out to me on Monday and today, I called him back. I figured we would chat for a few minutes, but an hour later we were still going strong. At the end of our call, he told me that I was his favorite educator at the University and he always remembers me very highly. Here is another example of bonds between people, and how their meaningfulness can bring about great happiness. I know today's call did that for me.
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